I do. You have a bright mind and you're really curious. Magic in this world sounds to be another tool for finding solutions and answers, so I think it's a natural fit for you?
[ Nen pauses thoughtfully at the bottom of the stairs, blocking the door. Because this is the perfect place to have a moment of introspection! ]
I just don't feel like I've grasped the fundamentals. I don't know what the measures of success are. What is "proficient" in magic? Is it being able to fight? Being able to utilize it for every day life?
I don't have any frame of reference for stuff like that.
[His smile becomes more sympathetic when they voice their concerns. He is no stranger to such struggles. How did you measure the success of being 'Yuuto?' How did you measure the success of 'being replaceable?' He's math orientated, so those things would have been much less anxiety inducing if he could understand them with numbers.
Alas, he cannot. And it is likely the same for magic. He doesn't like the idea of Nen's mind harboring any stresses, especially when he worries he put this one in their head.]
How do you measure the success of having hands? [... oh no he's gonna make it worse- back up!!!] Uh, what I mean is! Why not think of it as an extra limb for now? You could judge hands by artistic ability, knitting, grip strength... So many things. But just because you can do one of those well and not the others does not mean your hands are insufficient. Nor does it mean that you're wrong.
I think whatever you choose to use magic for, Nen, you can excel at it. That's what I mean when I say that I think you're good at it... I think that if you want something, you can make it happen! You're great!
[ Nen hadn't considered it like that before. Yuuto LOVE YOURSELF?? But as always, Yuuto has a way of phrasing things in a way that just makes sense. It clicks for Nen. Of course there can't be only one measure of success for something like a limb. Even missing one or having it broken doesn't make someone a failure.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
Nen looks at Yuuto, and almost-smiles. ]
That makes a lot of sense. I'm going to think of it like that going forwards. Thank you, Yuuto! Your acumen in reasoning is as impressive as ever.
[He's so glad that he didn't make it worse..! Yuuto considers his existence back to 0 for Nen, since he's evened out his mistake with something helpful.]
I'm happy to help. Sometimes we just need to hear a second opinion, right? [He looks to the door, but won't force it open. Maybe Nen still needs a moment.] If you'd be so kind as to keep me up to date regarding your magic achievements, I'd be most honored! I love hearing about what other people get up to.
[ For someone who's good at math Yuuto sure is bad at it!! He is only ever in Nen's positives. There is no negative for Yuuto as far as they are concerned. ]
What's "nosy"? Is there something wrong with it?
[ Nenonen moves right into poor Yuuto's space and ducks a little, trying to look up his nose...like one does. ]
[Though he is initially taken aback, stepping up on his tiptoes to literally get back, Yuuto quickly reasons what Nen is trying to do... and it's hard not to laugh a bit. He lowers himself back to the flats of his feet while covering his nose (and mouth/laugh) with his hand.]
Sorry! It's an expression from my world. It means something like, "to get too curious about other peoples' business, even when they don't want you to." To be rude. If I overstepping your boundaries, then I'd be "nosy."
[how would you rate your satisfaction. 5/5 stars on yelp please.
anyway. knock knock. It's anxiety.
Because it's kind of cute how Nen applies their knowledge of language to 'nosy' and comes up with a phrase like 'the right amount of nose.' He knows that is is incorrect. But it's cute. What if Nen uses that phrasing with someone else? Will that cause trouble? Will Nen be upset that he had the chance to correct them here and didn't?]
... Mm. You're the right amount of nose too. [He'll take a ticket to hell for this one if he must.] Speaking of your nose and curiosity. Let's go~! We have groceries to buy and stars to see. Are you ready?
Oh, that's a fantastic idea! Yeah, I can help you with that. You can use them to turn solid food into a liquid "smoothie."
Have you had smoothies before, Nen? [Not to imply a lack of faith, but Nen is highly curious. Yuuto can imagine that, if left to experiment on their own, they might make something Very Cursed with a blender.
Best to teach them about smoothies as a safe starting point???]
[ That....is a very fair concern. That is exactly what Nen would concoct with one of those. Their plan is to literally add water to food until it BlendsTM. ]
No, are they good?
[ Nen's had juice and milk and yogurt but that's the closest they've come to the topic of Smoothies ]
Oh... Yes please! But you bought the treat last time too. Should I pay for it today?
[ Since up to this point Yuuto has been Peak Sugar Daddy and as much as Nen is happy to receive anything and everything, they would also like to sugar his daddy at least once.
[And Yuuto’s brain seems to empty out. He may be staring at Nen with a stunned and empty sort of expression, but his brain is going haywire.
If his existence is going to be temporary,
If he is going to be a brief, unnecessary part of Nen’s life,
He can’t take anything from them.
No feelings, no space in their memory, and certainly not any of their money.
Giving is fine. Taking is not.
It takes him a moment to push through these spiraling thoughts and do the words. He’s doing his best to keep his voice even and devoid of his darker emotions. He has to be good or nothing. If he’s taking from Nen, then what’s the point of being here?]
Ah well… You’re using your money on your flowers, right? That makes me happy to know… and seeing you happy makes me happy. So uh. I want to buy you things so you can be happy..?
I don’t really deserve anything. [That’s why he didn’t buy himself a crepe before. He doesn’t plan to get himself a smoothie either.]
[ And this is where Yuuto loses Nen. That last sentence. It was all going well up until he mentions "deserving", leaving Nenonen well and truly baffled. Nen's met Tau by now and can't help but wonder if this is one of those "dumb things" she mentioned.
Only, Nenonen knows Yuuto is smart. Maybe he can just explain it. ]
But I didn't offer because I thought you deserved it. Should I?
[ is deserving something important? What sort of merit system would food and drink be based off of...? Nen's had experience with rewards given for good behaviour and test scores, but that was in the form of extra free time. Getting to choose an enrichment activity before the others. This doesn't feel like that. ]
[When Nen reverse Unos what he thought was a victory, Yuuto doesn’t find the game fun anymore. He nearly flinches, but manages to keep a physical reaction restricted to only a flick of his tail.]
N, no. I mean… Normal people don’t have to deserve it… E-extraordinary people like you don’t have to earn nice things either! It… It should be a given. Only bad people don’t deserve it… I-I’m… [If he admits to Nen that he’s awful, then they’ll leave. That’s fair.
But he doesn’t want it.
It’s moments like these that prove to Yuuto that he’s a terrible and selfish person. He can’t tell Nen the truth and free them. He just doubles down to keep them in his orbit.
Yuuto breaths out. And tells what he thinks is a lie.]
I! Uh! I’m okay so. We… We could split the cost! Is that permissible?
[ The way he's gone and phrased both that and the bit before outs him already. Nenonen may not know many things off the cuff, but their whole life has been about observation. Listening. Understanding so they can do what they're told. Trying to figure out solutions to an impossible problem that was never going to be solved in the first place.
Yuuto asks a question, but for the first time, Nen doesn't answer right away. They have a question of their own to ask. ]
Are you a bad person?
[ Rather, it's phrased to ask if Yuuto thinks he is. Because "bad people don't deserve it" and "I don't really deserve anything" seem to suggest that as a logical conclusion.
But that doesn't make any sense to Nenonen. Yuuto is nice. Weird. His face does funny things, and he taught Nen what a bath bomb was. Held their hand. Showed them how to not tongue their friends kiss a friend.
[Of course Nen would figure it out. Yuuto can replay his words and realize what he set himself up for.
So it’s probably over? He can’t lie anymore. He has to tell Nen and accept that they are going to leave him. His chest feels cold and heavy and he loosens his grip on their hand.]
… Mm. I am. I-I’m sorry.
I’m selfish… and useless. So much so that I don’t deserve a smoothie. [it takes some skill to trigger this kind of mood change over a smoothie tho so like. Good work to both of them.]
[Yuuto’s own perception can feel this conversation taking a dangerous turn. He can already hear doors being slammed and people yelling at him. If he keeps this up, then those sounds are going to exist outside of his head too.
He needs to disengage in a way that a curious person like Nen will drop the subject. Starting by putting a proper smile on his face. Any anxiety now only shows in his tail and how it wraps around his leg.]
I guess you’re right, huh? It’s silly to get so worked up over food… Ah, b-but! If we split the cost and both buy our own smoothie, you can try two flavors! Then you can pick a favorite from a sample pool..?
Let’s go! Smoothies await us! [Yuuto hesitates, then grips Nen’s hand again. To the distraction store! He hopes!]
[ If there's one thing Nen's used to, it's having the subject changed on them. Or for an explanation to be a segue instead of in-depth. It feels like a bit of both here, but Yuuto covers it up with just enough of his usual mask that Nen only pauses for a second.
The grip distracts them, a compromise is struck, and Nen follows him without question. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ Yuuto be careful or this will be bath bomb round 2 ]
You really think I'm good at magic?
no subject
I do. You have a bright mind and you're really curious. Magic in this world sounds to be another tool for finding solutions and answers, so I think it's a natural fit for you?
Are you still not confident?
no subject
[ Nen pauses thoughtfully at the bottom of the stairs, blocking the door. Because this is the perfect place to have a moment of introspection! ]
I just don't feel like I've grasped the fundamentals. I don't know what the measures of success are. What is "proficient" in magic? Is it being able to fight? Being able to utilize it for every day life?
I don't have any frame of reference for stuff like that.
no subject
Alas, he cannot. And it is likely the same for magic. He doesn't like the idea of Nen's mind harboring any stresses, especially when he worries he put this one in their head.]
How do you measure the success of having hands? [... oh no he's gonna make it worse- back up!!!] Uh, what I mean is! Why not think of it as an extra limb for now? You could judge hands by artistic ability, knitting, grip strength... So many things. But just because you can do one of those well and not the others does not mean your hands are insufficient. Nor does it mean that you're wrong.
I think whatever you choose to use magic for, Nen, you can excel at it. That's what I mean when I say that I think you're good at it... I think that if you want something, you can make it happen! You're great!
no subject
[ Nen hadn't considered it like that before.
Yuuto LOVE YOURSELF??But as always, Yuuto has a way of phrasing things in a way that just makes sense. It clicks for Nen. Of course there can't be only one measure of success for something like a limb. Even missing one or having it broken doesn't make someone a failure.Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
Nen looks at Yuuto, and almost-smiles. ]
That makes a lot of sense. I'm going to think of it like that going forwards. Thank you, Yuuto! Your acumen in reasoning is as impressive as ever.
no subject
I'm happy to help. Sometimes we just need to hear a second opinion, right? [He looks to the door, but won't force it open. Maybe Nen still needs a moment.] If you'd be so kind as to keep me up to date regarding your magic achievements, I'd be most honored! I love hearing about what other people get up to.
[...]
Ah, maybe that's too nosy of me.
no subject
What's "nosy"? Is there something wrong with it?
[ Nenonen moves right into poor Yuuto's space and ducks a little, trying to look up his nose...like one does. ]
no subject
Sorry! It's an expression from my world. It means something like, "to get too curious about other peoples' business, even when they don't want you to." To be rude. If I overstepping your boundaries, then I'd be "nosy."
Is my explanation okay?
no subject
[ Because Yuuto seems to worry a lot about satisfying them. ]
In that case, do not worry about being "nosy." You are just the right amount of nose. I will tell you all about my progress.
no subject
anyway. knock knock. It's anxiety.
Because it's kind of cute how Nen applies their knowledge of language to 'nosy' and comes up with a phrase like 'the right amount of nose.' He knows that is is incorrect. But it's cute. What if Nen uses that phrasing with someone else? Will that cause trouble? Will Nen be upset that he had the chance to correct them here and didn't?]
... Mm. You're the right amount of nose too. [He'll take a ticket to hell for this one if he must.] Speaking of your nose and curiosity. Let's go~! We have groceries to buy and stars to see. Are you ready?
no subject
But right, there were trying to get somewhere weren't they? Whoop. Nen nods and finally opens that door for them. Onwards! ]
Yes! I am ready for food and stars!
no subject
Great! Most of the things on your list are easy on a person's stomach, so we can start there. And I was going to show you 'rice,' right?
no subject
Oh! Yes please. I need to get something called a "blender" as well. It's supposed to help make food easier for me to eat when I try it.
no subject
Have you had smoothies before, Nen? [Not to imply a lack of faith, but Nen is highly curious. Yuuto can imagine that, if left to experiment on their own, they might make something Very Cursed with a blender.
Best to teach them about smoothies as a safe starting point???]
no subject
No, are they good?
[ Nen's had juice and milk and yogurt but that's the closest they've come to the topic of Smoothies ]
no subject
Want to get one on our way to the observatory? My treat? They’re pretty healthy too…
no subject
[ Since up to this point Yuuto has been Peak Sugar Daddy and as much as Nen is happy to receive anything and everything, they would also like to sugar his daddy at least once.
it's only fair ]
no subject
If his existence is going to be temporary,
If he is going to be a brief, unnecessary part of Nen’s life,
He can’t take anything from them.
No feelings, no space in their memory, and certainly not any of their money.
Giving is fine. Taking is not.
It takes him a moment to push through these spiraling thoughts and do the words. He’s doing his best to keep his voice even and devoid of his darker emotions. He has to be good or nothing. If he’s taking from Nen, then what’s the point of being here?]
Ah well… You’re using your money on your flowers, right? That makes me happy to know… and seeing you happy makes me happy. So uh. I want to buy you things so you can be happy..?
I don’t really deserve anything. [That’s why he didn’t buy himself a crepe before. He doesn’t plan to get himself a smoothie either.]
no subject
Only, Nenonen knows Yuuto is smart. Maybe he can just explain it. ]
But I didn't offer because I thought you deserved it. Should I?
[ is deserving something important? What sort of merit system would food and drink be based off of...? Nen's had experience with rewards given for good behaviour and test scores, but that was in the form of extra free time. Getting to choose an enrichment activity before the others. This doesn't feel like that. ]
I can test you first.
no subject
N, no. I mean… Normal people don’t have to deserve it… E-extraordinary people like you don’t have to earn nice things either! It… It should be a given. Only bad people don’t deserve it… I-I’m… [If he admits to Nen that he’s awful, then they’ll leave. That’s fair.
But he doesn’t want it.
It’s moments like these that prove to Yuuto that he’s a terrible and selfish person. He can’t tell Nen the truth and free them. He just doubles down to keep them in his orbit.
Yuuto breaths out. And tells what he thinks is a lie.]
I! Uh! I’m okay so. We… We could split the cost! Is that permissible?
no subject
Yuuto asks a question, but for the first time, Nen doesn't answer right away. They have a question of their own to ask. ]
Are you a bad person?
[ Rather, it's phrased to ask if Yuuto thinks he is. Because "bad people don't deserve it" and "I don't really deserve anything" seem to suggest that as a logical conclusion.
But that doesn't make any sense to Nenonen. Yuuto is nice. Weird. His face does funny things, and he taught Nen what a bath bomb was. Held their hand. Showed them how to
not tongue their friendskiss a friend.Yuuto feels like a good person.
A very, very good person. ]
no subject
So it’s probably over? He can’t lie anymore. He has to tell Nen and accept that they are going to leave him. His chest feels cold and heavy and he loosens his grip on their hand.]
… Mm. I am. I-I’m sorry.
I’m selfish… and useless. So much so that I don’t deserve a smoothie. [it takes some skill to trigger this kind of mood change over a smoothie tho so like. Good work to both of them.]
no subject
Yuuto's grip slips, but Nen's remains the same. Not firm or squeezing, but set. As if it's a constant not to be changed. ]
I don't understand selfish. Or why you are sorry. Food is food. I don't think you have to deserve it to have it.
Why are you bad? Why am I extraordinary?
no subject
He needs to disengage in a way that a curious person like Nen will drop the subject. Starting by putting a proper smile on his face. Any anxiety now only shows in his tail and how it wraps around his leg.]
I guess you’re right, huh? It’s silly to get so worked up over food… Ah, b-but! If we split the cost and both buy our own smoothie, you can try two flavors! Then you can pick a favorite from a sample pool..?
Let’s go! Smoothies await us! [Yuuto hesitates, then grips Nen’s hand again. To the
distractionstore! He hopes!]no subject
[ If there's one thing Nen's used to, it's having the subject changed on them. Or for an explanation to be a segue instead of in-depth. It feels like a bit of both here, but Yuuto covers it up with just enough of his usual mask that Nen only pauses for a second.
The grip distracts them, a compromise is struck, and Nen follows him without question. ]
Do they have peanut butter?
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
THIS WAS MY FAULT I DROPPED THIS BALL
YOU'RE ALL GOOD I WILL TAG FOREVER
(no subject)
will i never not be emotional over these tags? no. never.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
1/2
2/2
(no subject)
(no subject)