[ Nen has never been so happy they've cried before though!! Inference works better when you have that.... But at the very least, Chipp insists. That makes Nen fret over it all just a little less. He's never lied to them before, and it doesn't occur to them that he would be now. It's just a hard concept to wrap their head around. ]
...
I really made you that happy?
[ Nen still has Doubts because this doesn't match any "happy" they've observed before, but...well, maybe this is something new they can use to expand their repertoire.
They inhale, exhale on a huff, and look at him with a mixture of confusion and concern. ]
Promise?
why did spell check tell me "inferrance" is correct
Yes, please. I don't understand why anyone would cry because they're happy...
[ And the implication here is that the explanation is more for their comfort than their understating; they just want to be sure they haven't hurt him in some way, sure that they didn't make a mistake somehow despite his assurances. Seeing someone get teary when all Nen associates with it are awful things is a little alarming.
His hand over theirs, though? Not so alarming. ]
I thought crying only happens when you're not happy. Or hurt.
taking advantage of my dyslexia, knowing id shrug like "ok sure that looks correct"
[They earn themself a little nod, and finally, Chipp moves to sit up - gently guiding them to have them sit on his lap again, though this time with his back propped against the sofa's arm. And he's still got their hands, too. Those aren't getting let go of yet.]
... By the time folks're my age, they usually get kissed at least once. Y'know? Most folks, though, get that kinda thing loads of times. It's - Well, I can't say kissin' a love thing, but it is an attraction kinda thing. Or at least... I dunno. Affection. Folks do it out of affection.
When I was livin', I was - ...
[He actually stops himself from whatever he was about to say outright, instead forcing himself to pause and think of a better way to word this. It's also a good moment to stop and wipe his face a little more, the crying having ground to a halt but tears still clinging to his face.]
... I wasn't... much of a looker. When I was alive. Most people, they avoided me. So it ain't somethin' anyone ever done for me. Never been kissed before. You the first.
So it's - It's sad, it's real sad. But I'm happy, too. 'Cause I thought it'd never happen. That make sense?
[ It's sad that Chipp was never kissed because no one was attracted to him...but happy, because now someone has, and because he never thought it would happen. He felt both those things at once. Sad and happy. Both reactions at once.
If Nen puzzles it out like a math equation--or a colour combination--it starts to make sense. Purple is made up or red and blue, it's not like the colours disappear once they come together. X plus Y equals (x+y). It's not perfect logic, but it's enough for Nen to break down into something more digestible for them.
Slowly, they now. ]
Yes... I believe so. It did not occur to me that someone would feel more than one emotion at a time. Your reaction looked sad, so I thought it was just sadness you felt.
[ How is Nenonen supposed to look for combinations of feelings like that, where one is much more obvious than another? Definitely something to mull over later. For now, they study his expression with intensity. ]
...I think you should be more happy than sad. You have gotten your "kiss" much sooner than I have gotten mine. And I will give you lots.
[ Until Venti explained the concept of attraction transcending beyond the notion of creating offspring, Nen had seen no reason that anyone would ever be attracted to them for any reason whatsoever. And of course there's the whole Essence thing--the scientists and researchers, even security back in their world, made it very clear they had no intention of being unnecessarily close to them.
It's why Nen melts into physical contact so readily. ]
[- Oh, and now his heart just aches. He should have expected that to be the case.
They mentioned having been a biohazard, after all. In a science lab where they were already being treated like a rat rather than a person, being a biohazard on top of that means extremely, extremely limited contact of any kind. If he were the type, he'd probably go ahead and pepper them in kisses to make up for everything they never got back in their own world, but alas. He's way too concerned with being chaste to even consider it.
But he still drops their hands so he can reach out and carefully pull them into a hug.
...
One that comes complete with a kiss to their hair. It's the best he's got.]
You right, y'know, you right. Didn't even think o' that. 'M sorry. But y'know - we like two weird peas in a pod that way. Grew up way, way different lives, but I bet there loads of stuff like that we both gotta deal with.
[ Nen makes a small sound at that, just the way they did the first time. They look surprised to find themself in a hug again, but it's a brief thing now; Nen recovers faster this time and is quick to latch onto his front, even as they try and look up at him (and only succeed at staring at his chin). ]
...Oh. That was a metaphor. I get it.
[ Nen was about to tell Chipp that neither of them are peas but they got it. Nen feels just a little proud of that. ]
Yes. We are learning to "deal with" a lot of things.
[ Chipp is probably dealing with a great deal less on account of not having been, you know, a test subject, but. Nen appreciates the comparison that draws them together. ]
I think you are a fine formerly-human specimen, Chipp.
Aw, hun, lemme tell ya - I am a hell of a lot better now than I was back then, for sure. 'Less you meant a different kinda "fine".
[But he's gonna choose to believe it was a compliment of his looks, even if he still struggles with confidence in regards to them. It's somehow... not as difficult as a struggle when Nenonen is involved. Things to think about later.]
I'm thinkin' I should make me a list of stuff I haven't done that I know you ain't done neither. A list of stuff that's new to the both of us. Stuff that we could do here, together.
[He pulls back from that hug a bit, just enough that he can look down at them in his arms.]
How's that sound? I know there gotta be tons of shit like that - Could be somethin' fun.
[ Boy oh boy does Nen like the sound of that?? Like holy heck. Nen cannot nod fast enough, near-well sparkling up at him as they shake his shirt in their hands. ]
Awww, but I gotta be the one who makes it - there gonna be so much stuff you ain't even know exists out there! Stuff I heard of but just ain't got a chance to do yet! Stuff like, I dunno... Bobsleddin'. Or skiin'. You ever heard of shit like that? Me, I never been on the face of a mountain in my life, never got the chance.
[But at least he's heard of them and can thus list them!! (Not that he's going to... unless Nen is interested in skiing. Which they would be. So never mind, he's going to.)]
[Trampolines are absolutely going to be on the list. Do you think this man has ever been on a trampoline?? (Okay, maybe once as a little, little kid, but that's long ago enough that he won't even remember.)]
Ehh, I dunno, might be a ways out... but then again, the kinda hike we'd need to do to get there would make a good list entry on its lonesome. Done plenty of hikin', not much in the snow.
As for sleddin' and skiin', those just fun things you do in the snow. With a sled, you get a big, long, ehhhh... plastic chou-chout, 'bout as long as you tall. You take that up to the top of a hill or a safe part of a mountain, up in the snow. Climb on it, push off, and the sled slides down the snow fast-fast 'cause it ain't got enough friction to slow down! Skis are kinda the same... they're big, long planks of wood that ya wear on your feet. Use'm to glide down the mountain on your own. Lots faster than sleddin', too.
S'pposed to be tons of fun. Ain't ever done it, though. My memère ain't never let me do that kinda stuff when I was young - weren't safe for a crybaby with one arm.
[ Nen has never seen a real baby before, so they have no idea that babies, in fact, cry a Lot.
The rest of that sounds...dangerous, quite frankly. Sliding down a mountainside on a bunch of snow without any breaks? Using planks of wood and shoot-shout? Seems a little unsafe of you ask Nen.
Chipp seems ambivalent to it, but then again, he did gift Nen a giant knife. so. ]
no no, sweet & tender first time first, THEN the camping psl
[Yeah, he should have realized he'd need to define that.]
Okay, it - first, 's got nothin' to do with what happened earlier. That was a one-off. I do not cry that easy, don'tcha go gettin' it in your head that I do.
... But a "crybaby" is someone who cries a lot. Somethin' I did when I was a kid, just all the time. I was fuckin' weak about everything, ain't even funny.
Nothin' to do with bein' a baby, no. Someone as old as you could get called that, if they the type to cry a lot.
[He knows that Nen, themself, obviously isn't the type. But their age is still a good example, considering, y'know. 188 years. That's very, very old.]
... I was an ugly little one-armed kid with no friends that got pushed 'round 'n beat up all the time. Anyone that age would cry a lot if they went through that. Cryin' didn't help none of that, neither - No one wants to be friends with an ugly little one-armed kid that cries and gets beat up all the time.
But what about your augmented arm? Didn't you have that?
[ Chipp could have used that to do two-armed things, Nen thinks, not realizing that smol child Chipp did not, perhaps, have access to his Grim Reaper powers or robotic limbs. ]
Made this thing after I died. Spent my whole life without it. Somethin' like this, you can't get anything similar back where I was when I was livin'. 'Specially when I was a broke li'l kid livin' down on the Louisiana coast. Not much money there for makin' anything even kinda close. I was a normal human. And I just had to deal.
[And yes, he means his whole life when he says he just "had to deal".]
Yes! I think your story is fascinating. You have done so many things I want to hear about.
[ Just going to be entirely upfront about that. Nen wants to hear everything, if he's willing to give it. It'll be the first time someone explained their life to them. ]
Ahh... well. If you can believe it, I, uhh... Actually gotta book in there 'bout that, too.
[He was actually teasing them with that, of course - but unsurprisingly, Nenonen took that teasing literally and now he's gotta think about them reading about everything he's done. As if he hadn't been thinking about that all night already. Damn.
In a somewhat nervous gesture, he lets go of them for the moment and reaches up to smooth his hair back the way he usually wears it - all this rolling around on the sofa's gone and undone it all. Congrats on being the only person to ever see him with his hair down, Nenonen. Literally, since I need to draw that still.]
Most of my life's pretty borin', though. Just to be real upfront 'bout that. Spent a lotta time just walkin' the streets or hoppin' trains, sneakin' onto buses... that kinda thing. Lotta time just spent alone.
I spent my whole life in a lab and never went outside.
[ By comparison, Chipp has done a lot. They've never snuck into a bus (never even seen one before Ellipsa), never 'hopped a train' (never even ridden one)... So no matter how much he tries to downplay it, Nenonen? Looks keen.
They also like his hair like that. It's a little weird not to see it sticking up all over the place, but. It's good. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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...
I really made you that happy?
[ Nen still has Doubts because this doesn't match any "happy" they've observed before, but...well, maybe this is something new they can use to expand their repertoire.
They inhale, exhale on a huff, and look at him with a mixture of confusion and concern. ]
Promise?
why did spell check tell me "inferrance" is correct
[Said with zero hesitation, not even a second of thought.
... After a moment, though, he brings his hands up - letting go of his cloak - and covers theirs where they sit on his face.]
Do you need me to explain...?
spellcheck trolling you this early in the morning is rude
[ And the implication here is that the explanation is more for their comfort than their understating; they just want to be sure they haven't hurt him in some way, sure that they didn't make a mistake somehow despite his assurances. Seeing someone get teary when all Nen associates with it are awful things is a little alarming.
His hand over theirs, though? Not so alarming. ]
I thought crying only happens when you're not happy. Or hurt.
taking advantage of my dyslexia, knowing id shrug like "ok sure that looks correct"
And he's still got their hands, too. Those aren't getting let go of yet.]
... By the time folks're my age, they usually get kissed at least once. Y'know?
Most folks, though, get that kinda thing loads of times. It's -
Well, I can't say kissin' a love thing, but it is an attraction kinda thing.
Or at least... I dunno. Affection. Folks do it out of affection.
When I was livin', I was -
...
[He actually stops himself from whatever he was about to say outright, instead forcing himself to pause and think of a better way to word this.
It's also a good moment to stop and wipe his face a little more, the crying having ground to a halt but tears still clinging to his face.]
... I wasn't... much of a looker. When I was alive. Most people, they avoided me.
So it ain't somethin' anyone ever done for me. Never been kissed before.
You the first.
So it's -
It's sad, it's real sad. But I'm happy, too. 'Cause I thought it'd never happen.
That make sense?
pats u :'c
If Nen puzzles it out like a math equation--or a colour combination--it starts to make sense. Purple is made up or red and blue, it's not like the colours disappear once they come together. X plus Y equals (x+y). It's not perfect logic, but it's enough for Nen to break down into something more digestible for them.
Slowly, they now. ]
Yes... I believe so. It did not occur to me that someone would feel more than one emotion at a time. Your reaction looked sad, so I thought it was just sadness you felt.
[ How is Nenonen supposed to look for combinations of feelings like that, where one is much more obvious than another? Definitely something to mull over later. For now, they study his expression with intensity. ]
...I think you should be more happy than sad. You have gotten your "kiss" much sooner than I have gotten mine. And I will give you lots.
[ Until Venti explained the concept of attraction transcending beyond the notion of creating offspring, Nen had seen no reason that anyone would ever be attracted to them for any reason whatsoever. And of course there's the whole Essence thing--the scientists and researchers, even security back in their world, made it very clear they had no intention of being unnecessarily close to them.
It's why Nen melts into physical contact so readily. ]
pats nen so much more???
They mentioned having been a biohazard, after all. In a science lab where they were already being treated like a rat rather than a person, being a biohazard on top of that means extremely, extremely limited contact of any kind.
If he were the type, he'd probably go ahead and pepper them in kisses to make up for everything they never got back in their own world, but alas.
He's way too concerned with being chaste to even consider it.
But he still drops their hands so he can reach out and carefully pull them into a hug.
...
One that comes complete with a kiss to their hair. It's the best he's got.]
You right, y'know, you right. Didn't even think o' that. 'M sorry.
But y'know - we like two weird peas in a pod that way. Grew up way, way different lives, but I bet there loads of stuff like that we both gotta deal with.
jdkf ;u;/// also **nod, not now gd hamhands
...Oh. That was a metaphor. I get it.
[ Nen was about to tell Chipp that neither of them are peas but they got it. Nen feels just a little proud of that. ]
Yes. We are learning to "deal with" a lot of things.
[ Chipp is probably dealing with a great deal less on account of not having been, you know, a test subject, but. Nen appreciates the comparison that draws them together. ]
I think you are a fine formerly-human specimen, Chipp.
[ YOU GOOD PEOPLE ]
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'Less you meant a different kinda "fine".
[But he's gonna choose to believe it was a compliment of his looks, even if he still struggles with confidence in regards to them.
It's somehow... not as difficult as a struggle when Nenonen is involved. Things to think about later.]
This gives me an idea, though. Wanna hear it?
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[ LAY IT ON THEM, CHIPP.
(and yes, Nen was 100% talking about his looks. They are working on their Aesthetic SenseTM) ]
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A list of stuff that's new to the both of us. Stuff that we could do here, together.
[He pulls back from that hug a bit, just enough that he can look down at them in his arms.]
How's that sound? I know there gotta be tons of shit like that -
Could be somethin' fun.
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[ Boy oh boy does Nen like the sound of that?? Like holy heck. Nen cannot nod fast enough, near-well sparkling up at him as they shake his shirt in their hands. ]
I want to make that list!
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Stuff I heard of but just ain't got a chance to do yet! Stuff like, I dunno...
Bobsleddin'. Or skiin'. You ever heard of shit like that? Me, I never been on the face of a mountain in my life, never got the chance.
[But at least he's heard of them and can thus list them!! (Not that he's going to... unless Nen is interested in skiing.
Which they would be. So never mind, he's going to.)]
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[ Also: trampolines. The fact that Nen does not know of them/has never tried one is criminal. They need more trampolines in their life. ]
I saw a mountain from the big tree. I climbed it with Knives. [ the person, not the object ] Can we go see it? It looked very far away.
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(Okay, maybe once as a little, little kid, but that's long ago enough that he won't even remember.)]
Ehh, I dunno, might be a ways out... but then again, the kinda hike we'd need to do to get there would make a good list entry on its lonesome.
Done plenty of hikin', not much in the snow.
As for sleddin' and skiin', those just fun things you do in the snow. With a sled, you get a big, long, ehhhh... plastic chou-chout, 'bout as long as you tall.
You take that up to the top of a hill or a safe part of a mountain, up in the snow. Climb on it, push off, and the sled slides down the snow fast-fast 'cause it ain't got enough friction to slow down!
Skis are kinda the same... they're big, long planks of wood that ya wear on your feet. Use'm to glide down the mountain on your own. Lots faster than sleddin', too.
S'pposed to be tons of fun. Ain't ever done it, though. My memère ain't never let me do that kinda stuff when I was young - weren't safe for a crybaby with one arm.
eyyy camping psl becomes canon B)
[ Nen has never seen a real baby before, so they have no idea that babies, in fact, cry a Lot.
The rest of that sounds...dangerous, quite frankly. Sliding down a mountainside on a bunch of snow without any breaks? Using planks of wood and shoot-shout? Seems a little unsafe of you ask Nen.
Chipp seems ambivalent to it, but then again, he did gift Nen a giant knife. so. ]
no no, sweet & tender first time first, THEN the camping psl
[Yeah, he should have realized he'd need to define that.]
Okay, it - first, 's got nothin' to do with what happened earlier. That was a one-off.
I do not cry that easy, don'tcha go gettin' it in your head that I do.
... But a "crybaby" is someone who cries a lot.
Somethin' I did when I was a kid, just all the time. I was fuckin' weak about everything, ain't even funny.
oh weh....precious
It has nothing to do with being a baby?
[ Seems odd but alright. Nen tilts their head a little. ]
Why did you cry a lot when you were a child?
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[He knows that Nen, themself, obviously isn't the type. But their age is still a good example, considering, y'know.
188 years. That's very, very old.]
... I was an ugly little one-armed kid with no friends that got pushed 'round 'n beat up all the time.
Anyone that age would cry a lot if they went through that. Cryin' didn't help none of that, neither -
No one wants to be friends with an ugly little one-armed kid that cries and gets beat up all the time.
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[ Chipp could have used that to do two-armed things, Nen thinks, not realizing that smol child Chipp did not, perhaps, have access to his Grim Reaper powers or robotic limbs. ]
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Made this thing after I died. Spent my whole life without it.
Somethin' like this, you can't get anything similar back where I was when I was livin'. 'Specially when I was a broke li'l kid livin' down on the Louisiana coast.
Not much money there for makin' anything even kinda close.
I was a normal human. And I just had to deal.
[And yes, he means his whole life when he says he just "had to deal".]
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[ That sounds...inconvenient. Very inconvenient. ]
How did you lose it?
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[Because he's, y'know. Dead.
But it's followed with a little wheezy laugh, the kind they've likely grown to expect from him.]
Man, you gotta lotta questions tonight. You just wantin' to hear my life story?
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[ Just going to be entirely upfront about that. Nen wants to hear everything, if he's willing to give it. It'll be the first time someone explained their life to them. ]
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Actually gotta book in there 'bout that, too.
[He was actually teasing them with that, of course - but unsurprisingly, Nenonen took that teasing literally and now he's gotta think about them reading about everything he's done.
As if he hadn't been thinking about that all night already. Damn.
In a somewhat nervous gesture, he lets go of them for the moment and reaches up to smooth his hair back the way he usually wears it - all this rolling around on the sofa's gone and undone it all.
Congrats on being the only person to ever see him with his hair down, Nenonen.
Literally, since I need to draw that still.]Most of my life's pretty borin', though. Just to be real upfront 'bout that.
Spent a lotta time just walkin' the streets or hoppin' trains, sneakin' onto buses... that kinda thing.
Lotta time just spent alone.
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[ By comparison, Chipp has done a lot. They've never snuck into a bus (never even seen one before Ellipsa), never 'hopped a train' (never even ridden one)... So no matter how much he tries to downplay it, Nenonen? Looks keen.
They also like his hair like that. It's a little weird not to see it sticking up all over the place, but. It's good. ]
I spent 128.5 years alone.
Your story will not be boring.
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cw: mention of euthanasia/suicide...of a sort? choosing death over going home basically
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