[ Goddamn Nen loves high-level magic. It's almost as good as what comes next as Chipp finds his stride and zeroes in on what he wants to praise. Just maybe...three was too much. Because what started as a tiny little bundle of warmth in their chest now begins to expand rapidly as they take it all in.
I know you gonna really like havin' that independence for yourself, too. The kinda independence you deserve. You good at makin' me feel important that way, ain't somethin' I'm used to. seein' you so happy 'bout livin' been one of the best parts o' bein' here with everyone so far.
He's not just happy that they've done something. He's happy for them. Proud of the things they've done for themself. Proud they're growing, becoming their own person--not because they're aligning or performing according to a set of predetermined parameters. He's proud because they're them, and that's never happened to Nenonen before.
Nen might not blush, but by the end of it? They're definitely on both hands and knees, staring down at him with round eyes and a look of barely-contained excitement on their face. Their hands arr tiny fists. Their lips are pressed together in a thin line. And when he asks if that's good enough?
It is. It really, really is. ]
Yes...! Chipp! It was perfect! Thank you...thank you!
[Toooo be honest? He can't actually tell what that expression on their face is. From his point of view, it just looks like "8|". But he holds his ground waiting for their response - and that's enough to get rid of any tension that had gathered up in his shoulders, something that they may even be able to feel when it makes his hold on their face loosen just a tad.
He's smiling, of course. As much as he can be - enough that they'd be able to tell.]
Naw. This is all stuff I was gonna tell you at some point, y'know. Hard not to when you out here makin' so many strides - I'm all about makin' sure someone's efforts are noticed! World sucks too much to not.
[ They do feel it--and Chipp's about to feel it when they grab his face with both hands and press a nice, big smooch straight to his lil ninja star of a scar. Right smack on the forehead!! Mwah.
[- They kissed him. They kissed him? No, more than that - they kissed his scar.
He's left quietly searching their face for a moment, before he looks up in the direction of his scar, hand coming up to cover it gently. His blush has increased immensely in intensity, of course. This is something incredibly new that he's having to quickly quantify in his mind for a moment. Because no one's ever done that before. "What, kiss his scar?" Haha! No. Kiss him in general. His scarring used to be so much gnarlier in life, he'd grown accustom to his quick flings avoiding his face entirely. Let alone actually drawing attention to any of his scars at all. Let alone kissing one of them.
There are so many huge implications for him all wrapped up in that one little peck, he can't help but stare blankly like an idiot for a second or two.]
[ This Nen declares confidently and with pride as they lean forward, hands still on his face as they take in every inch of that wonderful orange glow. Nen is coming to realize that they really like seeing people blush--especially men--so this? Is just great. Excellent. Nen gets to appreciate it close-up.
But also, it just felt like the right thing to do. The forehead smooch, that is. ]
It is a friendship kiss.
[ Which means it is neither wet nor full of tongue. If Nen had done this, like, 2 weeks ago? That's what he would have gotten. Just a whole...lotta tonguing. ]
[Like - Realistically, objectively, he knows exactly what they mean by that. A kiss between friends. Just a little peck on the forehead. It SHOULD be whatever. For most people - especially others who are friends with Nenonen - it probably is just whatever. But the concept just... catches itself in the cogs of his mind, somehow? His face scrunches up, that hand keeps its fingers gently touching his scar, and it's like his brain is trying to do American math without changing any measurements in metric.
They kissed him. They kissed HIM. They kissed one of his scars - one of the things that kept him ostracized in life, something that the public was very ready to comment and judge upon when his face had been plastered all over TV screens and newspapers. The dorky "skin of a killer" concept but ramped up to 110, to real world violence and failure of the system and PTSD, to partners turning away from him in the light and children pointing fingers and people on the streets mumbling amongst themselves, all these concepts wrapped up in one. And they kissed it.
After finishing up all the math necessary, his brain puts out the only thing that it thinks makes any logical sense in the moment - He starts crying.
It's just tears bubbling up in his eyes, no sobbing and not much of a change to his expression, but it's crying nonetheless.]
U-uh... m- Merci.
[It's as quiet and muttered as one might expect, but he still means it.]
[ Chipp is crying. That's not the response Nenonen was going for. The high-level magic, sure, but they didn't want him to do this. Nen has very limited experience with people crying--in fact, they've never seen anyone who wasn't an Essenceborn cry before. Chipp's tears are...light. So much lighter than their own. They're clear. Not black like ink, not charcoal grey or any other colour in between.
It just looks like...water.
Nen stares at him as they reach up to touch one of his tears, unable to help themself from wiping it from the corner of one eye. ]
You're crying. Did I do something wrong?
[ Nen doesn't like the thought of that. Nen doesn't like the thought of having been the one to make him cry. Nen's only experiences with crying have been bad or negative--so of course they think that's what's going on right now. ]
[He can't help the way his eye squeezes shut as they wipe away his tears, something that just gets him to nab part of his cloak to use to wipe off the rest. After wiping his nose with it (gross), he just... keeps it there, hiding part of his face as the rest of it scrunches up into a mild expression of embarrassment. He sure looks like he doesn't enjoy crying. Nor does he look happy that they're getting to see it from him.
And yet, despite that -]
No, no... it's okay. You fine, hun, you ain't done nothin' wrong. 'S hard to explain, uh... Think of'em as happy tears. Kinda. ... Happy-sad. It's, uh... [He clears his throat.] It's complicated.
But I promise, you done nothin' wrong.
[Just ignore how watery his voice sounds. He's very soft under all that prickly metal plating he puts on.]
But crying isn't happy... You look sad. Did I hurt you?
[ Normally, Chipp insisting is enough for Nen. They accept most of what he says as-is, but this? Nen's never cried for a happy reason before and can't make the connection inside their head. They must have done something to upset him. He wouldn't cry otherwise.
Nen watches him with an expression that twists to something a little less neutral, almost a furrow in their brow as they keep their hands right where they are. On his face. ]
Aw, hun, c'mon, 's gonna be so hard to 'splain it all... you didn't hurt me none, no! Just... somethin' I never thought someone would do for me. C’est tout.
[That's at least partway muttered into his cloak, since he's still got it over... as much of his face as he can, anyway. It's mostly just his mouth, looped funny around one of their hands.
He's definitely no longer looking at them, though.]
And it made you cry...? Should I not do it? I wanted to make you happy.
[ Giving those to Kenta and Yuuto had made them happy. They'd smiled. They thought that Chipp might do that as well...insofar as he ever smiles without his helmet on, that is.
Nen sits back on their haunches. hands giving his cheeks a brief squeeze as they wrack their brain for all the acts of comfort they know. ]
You did! 'S why I'm cryin'! How'm I the one who understands all this - C'mon, you got the biggest brain I seen 'round this place, use a li'l inferrance...!
[The squishing does not seem to help. He doesn't stop them or anything, just allows the squishing to happen (with a blush starting to pick right back up on his face), but it still doesn't quite seem to help.]
Look - s-sometimes folks cry when they happy enough, awright? 'Cause sometimes it's somethin' real big and it's hard to keep all that bigness in, so it just... leaks out like this!
[ Nen has never been so happy they've cried before though!! Inference works better when you have that.... But at the very least, Chipp insists. That makes Nen fret over it all just a little less. He's never lied to them before, and it doesn't occur to them that he would be now. It's just a hard concept to wrap their head around. ]
...
I really made you that happy?
[ Nen still has Doubts because this doesn't match any "happy" they've observed before, but...well, maybe this is something new they can use to expand their repertoire.
They inhale, exhale on a huff, and look at him with a mixture of confusion and concern. ]
Promise?
why did spell check tell me "inferrance" is correct
Yes, please. I don't understand why anyone would cry because they're happy...
[ And the implication here is that the explanation is more for their comfort than their understating; they just want to be sure they haven't hurt him in some way, sure that they didn't make a mistake somehow despite his assurances. Seeing someone get teary when all Nen associates with it are awful things is a little alarming.
His hand over theirs, though? Not so alarming. ]
I thought crying only happens when you're not happy. Or hurt.
taking advantage of my dyslexia, knowing id shrug like "ok sure that looks correct"
[They earn themself a little nod, and finally, Chipp moves to sit up - gently guiding them to have them sit on his lap again, though this time with his back propped against the sofa's arm. And he's still got their hands, too. Those aren't getting let go of yet.]
... By the time folks're my age, they usually get kissed at least once. Y'know? Most folks, though, get that kinda thing loads of times. It's - Well, I can't say kissin' a love thing, but it is an attraction kinda thing. Or at least... I dunno. Affection. Folks do it out of affection.
When I was livin', I was - ...
[He actually stops himself from whatever he was about to say outright, instead forcing himself to pause and think of a better way to word this. It's also a good moment to stop and wipe his face a little more, the crying having ground to a halt but tears still clinging to his face.]
... I wasn't... much of a looker. When I was alive. Most people, they avoided me. So it ain't somethin' anyone ever done for me. Never been kissed before. You the first.
So it's - It's sad, it's real sad. But I'm happy, too. 'Cause I thought it'd never happen. That make sense?
[ It's sad that Chipp was never kissed because no one was attracted to him...but happy, because now someone has, and because he never thought it would happen. He felt both those things at once. Sad and happy. Both reactions at once.
If Nen puzzles it out like a math equation--or a colour combination--it starts to make sense. Purple is made up or red and blue, it's not like the colours disappear once they come together. X plus Y equals (x+y). It's not perfect logic, but it's enough for Nen to break down into something more digestible for them.
Slowly, they now. ]
Yes... I believe so. It did not occur to me that someone would feel more than one emotion at a time. Your reaction looked sad, so I thought it was just sadness you felt.
[ How is Nenonen supposed to look for combinations of feelings like that, where one is much more obvious than another? Definitely something to mull over later. For now, they study his expression with intensity. ]
...I think you should be more happy than sad. You have gotten your "kiss" much sooner than I have gotten mine. And I will give you lots.
[ Until Venti explained the concept of attraction transcending beyond the notion of creating offspring, Nen had seen no reason that anyone would ever be attracted to them for any reason whatsoever. And of course there's the whole Essence thing--the scientists and researchers, even security back in their world, made it very clear they had no intention of being unnecessarily close to them.
It's why Nen melts into physical contact so readily. ]
[- Oh, and now his heart just aches. He should have expected that to be the case.
They mentioned having been a biohazard, after all. In a science lab where they were already being treated like a rat rather than a person, being a biohazard on top of that means extremely, extremely limited contact of any kind. If he were the type, he'd probably go ahead and pepper them in kisses to make up for everything they never got back in their own world, but alas. He's way too concerned with being chaste to even consider it.
But he still drops their hands so he can reach out and carefully pull them into a hug.
...
One that comes complete with a kiss to their hair. It's the best he's got.]
You right, y'know, you right. Didn't even think o' that. 'M sorry. But y'know - we like two weird peas in a pod that way. Grew up way, way different lives, but I bet there loads of stuff like that we both gotta deal with.
[ Nen makes a small sound at that, just the way they did the first time. They look surprised to find themself in a hug again, but it's a brief thing now; Nen recovers faster this time and is quick to latch onto his front, even as they try and look up at him (and only succeed at staring at his chin). ]
...Oh. That was a metaphor. I get it.
[ Nen was about to tell Chipp that neither of them are peas but they got it. Nen feels just a little proud of that. ]
Yes. We are learning to "deal with" a lot of things.
[ Chipp is probably dealing with a great deal less on account of not having been, you know, a test subject, but. Nen appreciates the comparison that draws them together. ]
I think you are a fine formerly-human specimen, Chipp.
Aw, hun, lemme tell ya - I am a hell of a lot better now than I was back then, for sure. 'Less you meant a different kinda "fine".
[But he's gonna choose to believe it was a compliment of his looks, even if he still struggles with confidence in regards to them. It's somehow... not as difficult as a struggle when Nenonen is involved. Things to think about later.]
I'm thinkin' I should make me a list of stuff I haven't done that I know you ain't done neither. A list of stuff that's new to the both of us. Stuff that we could do here, together.
[He pulls back from that hug a bit, just enough that he can look down at them in his arms.]
How's that sound? I know there gotta be tons of shit like that - Could be somethin' fun.
[ Boy oh boy does Nen like the sound of that?? Like holy heck. Nen cannot nod fast enough, near-well sparkling up at him as they shake his shirt in their hands. ]
Awww, but I gotta be the one who makes it - there gonna be so much stuff you ain't even know exists out there! Stuff I heard of but just ain't got a chance to do yet! Stuff like, I dunno... Bobsleddin'. Or skiin'. You ever heard of shit like that? Me, I never been on the face of a mountain in my life, never got the chance.
[But at least he's heard of them and can thus list them!! (Not that he's going to... unless Nen is interested in skiing. Which they would be. So never mind, he's going to.)]
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I know you gonna really like havin' that independence for yourself, too.
The kinda independence you deserve.
You good at makin' me feel important that way, ain't somethin' I'm used to.
seein' you so happy 'bout livin' been one of the best parts o' bein' here with everyone so far.
He's not just happy that they've done something. He's happy for them. Proud of the things they've done for themself. Proud they're growing, becoming their own person--not because they're aligning or performing according to a set of predetermined parameters. He's proud because they're them, and that's never happened to Nenonen before.
Nen might not blush, but by the end of it? They're definitely on both hands and knees, staring down at him with round eyes and a look of barely-contained excitement on their face. Their hands arr tiny fists. Their lips are pressed together in a thin line. And when he asks if that's good enough?
It is. It really, really is. ]
Yes...! Chipp! It was perfect! Thank you...thank you!
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But he holds his ground waiting for their response - and that's enough to get rid of any tension that had gathered up in his shoulders, something that they may even be able to feel when it makes his hold on their face loosen just a tad.
He's smiling, of course. As much as he can be - enough that they'd be able to tell.]
Naw. This is all stuff I was gonna tell you at some point, y'know. Hard not to when you out here makin' so many strides -
I'm all about makin' sure someone's efforts are noticed! World sucks too much to not.
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A perfect Friend KissTM, as taught by Yuuto. ]
I am happy. Very happy.
This is a great start to a new day.
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They kissed him?
No, more than that - they kissed his scar.
He's left quietly searching their face for a moment, before he looks up in the direction of his scar, hand coming up to cover it gently.
His blush has increased immensely in intensity, of course. This is something incredibly new that he's having to quickly quantify in his mind for a moment.
Because no one's ever done that before. "What, kiss his scar?" Haha! No.
Kiss him in general.
His scarring used to be so much gnarlier in life, he'd grown accustom to his quick flings avoiding his face entirely. Let alone actually drawing attention to any of his scars at all.
Let alone kissing one of them.
There are so many huge implications for him all wrapped up in that one little peck, he can't help but stare blankly like an idiot for a second or two.]
... You kissed me.
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[ This Nen declares confidently and with pride as they lean forward, hands still on his face as they take in every inch of that wonderful orange glow. Nen is coming to realize that they really like seeing people blush--especially men--so this? Is just great. Excellent. Nen gets to appreciate it close-up.
But also, it just felt like the right thing to do. The forehead smooch, that is. ]
It is a friendship kiss.
[ Which means it is neither wet nor full of tongue. If Nen had done this, like, 2 weeks ago? That's what he would have gotten. Just a whole...lotta tonguing. ]
im sorry he's so awkward
[Like -
Realistically, objectively, he knows exactly what they mean by that. A kiss between friends. Just a little peck on the forehead. It SHOULD be whatever. For most people - especially others who are friends with Nenonen - it probably is just whatever.
But the concept just... catches itself in the cogs of his mind, somehow?
His face scrunches up, that hand keeps its fingers gently touching his scar, and it's like his brain is trying to do American math without changing any measurements in metric.
They kissed him. They kissed HIM. They kissed one of his scars - one of the things that kept him ostracized in life, something that the public was very ready to comment and judge upon when his face had been plastered all over TV screens and newspapers.
The dorky "skin of a killer" concept but ramped up to 110, to real world violence and failure of the system and PTSD, to partners turning away from him in the light and children pointing fingers and people on the streets mumbling amongst themselves, all these concepts wrapped up in one.
And they kissed it.
After finishing up all the math necessary, his brain puts out the only thing that it thinks makes any logical sense in the moment -
He starts crying.
It's just tears bubbling up in his eyes, no sobbing and not much of a change to his expression, but it's crying nonetheless.]
U-uh... m-
Merci.
[It's as quiet and muttered as one might expect, but he still means it.]
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It just looks like...water.
Nen stares at him as they reach up to touch one of his tears, unable to help themself from wiping it from the corner of one eye. ]
You're crying. Did I do something wrong?
[ Nen doesn't like the thought of that. Nen doesn't like the thought of having been the one to make him cry. Nen's only experiences with crying have been bad or negative--so of course they think that's what's going on right now. ]
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After wiping his nose with it (gross), he just... keeps it there, hiding part of his face as the rest of it scrunches up into a mild expression of embarrassment.
He sure looks like he doesn't enjoy crying. Nor does he look happy that they're getting to see it from him.
And yet, despite that -]
No, no... it's okay. You fine, hun, you ain't done nothin' wrong. 'S hard to explain, uh...
Think of'em as happy tears. Kinda. ... Happy-sad.
It's, uh... [He clears his throat.] It's complicated.
But I promise, you done nothin' wrong.
[Just ignore how watery his voice sounds. He's very soft under all that prickly metal plating he puts on.]
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[ Normally, Chipp insisting is enough for Nen. They accept most of what he says as-is, but this? Nen's never cried for a happy reason before and can't make the connection inside their head. They must have done something to upset him. He wouldn't cry otherwise.
Nen watches him with an expression that twists to something a little less neutral, almost a furrow in their brow as they keep their hands right where they are. On his face. ]
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Just... somethin' I never thought someone would do for me. C’est tout.
[That's at least partway muttered into his cloak, since he's still got it over... as much of his face as he can, anyway.
It's mostly just his mouth, looped funny around one of their hands.
He's definitely no longer looking at them, though.]
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[ Giving those to Kenta and Yuuto had made them happy. They'd smiled. They thought that Chipp might do that as well...insofar as he ever smiles without his helmet on, that is.
Nen sits back on their haunches. hands giving his cheeks a brief squeeze as they wrack their brain for all the acts of comfort they know. ]
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C'mon, you got the biggest brain I seen 'round this place, use a li'l inferrance...!
[The squishing does not seem to help. He doesn't stop them or anything, just allows the squishing to happen (with a blush starting to pick right back up on his face), but it still doesn't quite seem to help.]
Look - s-sometimes folks cry when they happy enough, awright?
'Cause sometimes it's somethin' real big and it's hard to keep all that bigness in, so it just... leaks out like this!
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...
I really made you that happy?
[ Nen still has Doubts because this doesn't match any "happy" they've observed before, but...well, maybe this is something new they can use to expand their repertoire.
They inhale, exhale on a huff, and look at him with a mixture of confusion and concern. ]
Promise?
why did spell check tell me "inferrance" is correct
[Said with zero hesitation, not even a second of thought.
... After a moment, though, he brings his hands up - letting go of his cloak - and covers theirs where they sit on his face.]
Do you need me to explain...?
spellcheck trolling you this early in the morning is rude
[ And the implication here is that the explanation is more for their comfort than their understating; they just want to be sure they haven't hurt him in some way, sure that they didn't make a mistake somehow despite his assurances. Seeing someone get teary when all Nen associates with it are awful things is a little alarming.
His hand over theirs, though? Not so alarming. ]
I thought crying only happens when you're not happy. Or hurt.
taking advantage of my dyslexia, knowing id shrug like "ok sure that looks correct"
And he's still got their hands, too. Those aren't getting let go of yet.]
... By the time folks're my age, they usually get kissed at least once. Y'know?
Most folks, though, get that kinda thing loads of times. It's -
Well, I can't say kissin' a love thing, but it is an attraction kinda thing.
Or at least... I dunno. Affection. Folks do it out of affection.
When I was livin', I was -
...
[He actually stops himself from whatever he was about to say outright, instead forcing himself to pause and think of a better way to word this.
It's also a good moment to stop and wipe his face a little more, the crying having ground to a halt but tears still clinging to his face.]
... I wasn't... much of a looker. When I was alive. Most people, they avoided me.
So it ain't somethin' anyone ever done for me. Never been kissed before.
You the first.
So it's -
It's sad, it's real sad. But I'm happy, too. 'Cause I thought it'd never happen.
That make sense?
pats u :'c
If Nen puzzles it out like a math equation--or a colour combination--it starts to make sense. Purple is made up or red and blue, it's not like the colours disappear once they come together. X plus Y equals (x+y). It's not perfect logic, but it's enough for Nen to break down into something more digestible for them.
Slowly, they now. ]
Yes... I believe so. It did not occur to me that someone would feel more than one emotion at a time. Your reaction looked sad, so I thought it was just sadness you felt.
[ How is Nenonen supposed to look for combinations of feelings like that, where one is much more obvious than another? Definitely something to mull over later. For now, they study his expression with intensity. ]
...I think you should be more happy than sad. You have gotten your "kiss" much sooner than I have gotten mine. And I will give you lots.
[ Until Venti explained the concept of attraction transcending beyond the notion of creating offspring, Nen had seen no reason that anyone would ever be attracted to them for any reason whatsoever. And of course there's the whole Essence thing--the scientists and researchers, even security back in their world, made it very clear they had no intention of being unnecessarily close to them.
It's why Nen melts into physical contact so readily. ]
pats nen so much more???
They mentioned having been a biohazard, after all. In a science lab where they were already being treated like a rat rather than a person, being a biohazard on top of that means extremely, extremely limited contact of any kind.
If he were the type, he'd probably go ahead and pepper them in kisses to make up for everything they never got back in their own world, but alas.
He's way too concerned with being chaste to even consider it.
But he still drops their hands so he can reach out and carefully pull them into a hug.
...
One that comes complete with a kiss to their hair. It's the best he's got.]
You right, y'know, you right. Didn't even think o' that. 'M sorry.
But y'know - we like two weird peas in a pod that way. Grew up way, way different lives, but I bet there loads of stuff like that we both gotta deal with.
jdkf ;u;/// also **nod, not now gd hamhands
...Oh. That was a metaphor. I get it.
[ Nen was about to tell Chipp that neither of them are peas but they got it. Nen feels just a little proud of that. ]
Yes. We are learning to "deal with" a lot of things.
[ Chipp is probably dealing with a great deal less on account of not having been, you know, a test subject, but. Nen appreciates the comparison that draws them together. ]
I think you are a fine formerly-human specimen, Chipp.
[ YOU GOOD PEOPLE ]
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'Less you meant a different kinda "fine".
[But he's gonna choose to believe it was a compliment of his looks, even if he still struggles with confidence in regards to them.
It's somehow... not as difficult as a struggle when Nenonen is involved. Things to think about later.]
This gives me an idea, though. Wanna hear it?
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[ LAY IT ON THEM, CHIPP.
(and yes, Nen was 100% talking about his looks. They are working on their Aesthetic SenseTM) ]
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A list of stuff that's new to the both of us. Stuff that we could do here, together.
[He pulls back from that hug a bit, just enough that he can look down at them in his arms.]
How's that sound? I know there gotta be tons of shit like that -
Could be somethin' fun.
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[ Boy oh boy does Nen like the sound of that?? Like holy heck. Nen cannot nod fast enough, near-well sparkling up at him as they shake his shirt in their hands. ]
I want to make that list!
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Stuff I heard of but just ain't got a chance to do yet! Stuff like, I dunno...
Bobsleddin'. Or skiin'. You ever heard of shit like that? Me, I never been on the face of a mountain in my life, never got the chance.
[But at least he's heard of them and can thus list them!! (Not that he's going to... unless Nen is interested in skiing.
Which they would be. So never mind, he's going to.)]
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[ Also: trampolines. The fact that Nen does not know of them/has never tried one is criminal. They need more trampolines in their life. ]
I saw a mountain from the big tree. I climbed it with Knives. [ the person, not the object ] Can we go see it? It looked very far away.
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eyyy camping psl becomes canon B)
no no, sweet & tender first time first, THEN the camping psl
oh weh....precious
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cw: mention of euthanasia/suicide...of a sort? choosing death over going home basically
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