[Said quietly and mostly to himself, of course. But this whole thing - It's hard with his helmet on. He never thought about this, what would happen if someone were to hug him while wearing it. It's not a situation that either he or his Boss thought about while creating the helmet in the first place. He can't see them at all, can't tuck them under his chin, nothing like that. So off it goes again. This time entirely, getting placed on the couch beside him. Just so he can hug them properly, give them the hug they obviously needed.]
... I like you too, Nenett. And I'm glad ya feel that way - I been tryin' very... very hard.
Edited (random period oops) 2023-04-14 20:34 (UTC)
[ It's an awkward way to say it, but it's just how Nen is. Helmet comes off, Chipp doesn't try to correct them and insist he's not everything they think he is, and Nen just folds up into him. The weight of his arms and the squeeze of their strength does some work, but mostly? He just makes Nen feel safe.
They hope that one day, they can do the same thing for him. ]
I have no additional feedback.
[ That's Nenspeak for you're fine just the way you are. ]
[Is it an awkward way to say it? Chipp doesn't think of it that way. It's just a Nen way to say it, in his mind. It makes it easy for him to understand. Easier to just settle into that hug and be glad it's happening at all. He doesn't get hugs very much, let him have this.]
... You wanna... try some of them treats I brought? Ain't nothin' soft, but I think you gonna be able to eat'em anyway. Might even like'em.
Yeah, the snacks! You remembered that one - great, don't wanna have to explain what snacks are again. Here, lemme just -
[One hand leaves Nen's shoulders just for a second, just so he can snatch a bag out of the air as he floats it over to himself with his magic. (It's magnetic magic. Sorry if their hair ends up a little frizzy.) But since they're in the prime position for it... the bag gets put in Nenonen's lap.]
Got hard candies, couple types of chips - that's with one "p", it's a kinda snack made outta potatoes. They ain't a paste, but you could chew'em into one pretty good, I think? Also got some puddin' cups and Jello cups, I feel like you gonna dig those.
... Oh, you gonna need a spoon -
[Without even thinking about it, without any hesitation, he reaches for his helmet. And he snaps the antennas right off of it.
With his magic, they form into a glob of solid metal for a moment, before reshaping into a nice little spoon for their use.]
I remember most of the things you tell me. My short-term memory is quite effective.
[ Nen sounds quite proud of themself on that, and yes: Nen's hair does get a bit frizzy. When they reach out to poke at the spoon it even give them a tiny shock! But just a little one. A faint flinch and they're fine, inspecting the utensil with curiosity. For just a moment there, the thought "you broke your hair" crossed their 'mind, but the antenna aren't actually hair and the helmet isn't actually Chipp's head. So.
Nen sits back against his knees to give them more room to look at everything he's brought over, eyes keen. ]
"Eat", you mean "what should I eat". "Spoonin'" is somethin' different altogether. Somethin'... real different. But, uhh... you like fruit, right? Try some of that Jello in there.
[He got cherry and grape flavors!! The worst yet most popular kinds!!]
[ Jello it is! Nen looks between the two colours and decides that grape looks like it'll be fun. Thankfully, the jello cups are just as easy to figure out as the beer can, so Nen gets that opened up without too much trouble. Better yet: no kssht! of surprise air.
Nen spoons some out of it and gives it a sniff--something they never did in their world, what point is there to sniffing nutrient paste?--before plopping it in their mouth with a pleased sound.
It's sweet! And has a similar texture to supplement jelly. Interesting. ]
... Uhh. [Fuck. He forgot that Nen isn't the type to just leave well enough alone. He actually has to look away in thought for a moment, rubbing his chin as his face scrunches up.]
... Okay, it's - Well, first, don't go doin' this with just... anyone, okay? It's kinda special, save it for someone special to ya. Someone that makes your chest feel funny, you know? The kinda person you wanna see all the time.
[This is the closest he's probably ever going to get when it comes to explaining what love is. Because that's the closest he's ever really figured out for himself.]
Spoonin' is... it's a type of cuddlin'. Y'know - holdin' someone else just for the sake of holdin'em. Like a bigger, longer hug for someone special. You got yourself and whoever layin' down together, all curled up with your back against their chest - or the other way 'round, guess that's possible. But the way you do it, it makes ya both look like spoons together in a drawer. So that's how it got its name.
It's good for naps. As far as I know, ain't done it myself.
[ Oh boy...poor Chipp and his precious, sweet, pure heart. How does someone so gruff and tough a once-human-serial killer also turn out to be a giant softie about these things??
Nen pauses midway through that spoonful of jello for his explanation, mulling it over in their head. It sounds...a little like the time they slept over at Saya, Kantera, Venti, and Yuri's house. Bedding and pillows all over the floor, flopping across Saya because she was a gosh-darn furnace and Nen absolutely adored it, staying up late into the night talking...
It sounds a little like that, only without the funny feeling in their chest. The funny feeling (happiness) was in their stomach. Also, Nen just laid on top of Saya and hugged her. There was no back-pressing involved...hmm. The more Nen thinks about it, the more they think perhaps they did not actually spoon at all. Perhaps the sleep-over is a poor example. ]
[Of course. Of course they're gonna ask that. What a jab right in that precious, sweet, pure heart of his. He ends up letting out a weary sigh, like he's a tired ol' dog that's sick of life and ready to pass on already.]
I ain't done it 'cause no one's liked me enough for it. What do you think of the Jello?
[- SPOON IN HIS FACE. It gets stared at with big, wide eyes, almost going cross-eyed with how close it is. He suddenly has no idea what's going on anymore. Again. Being... offered to be spoon-fed sweets?? And asked if he wants to cuddle????? By Nenonen?????????
Unsurprisingly, his face near immediately takes a bright, luminescent shade of Dayglo orange, glowing bright enough to make all of his freckles stand out.]
U-uhh...... [Is he even ALLOWED to say yes??] ... Well-- Like I said, it's good for naps... b-but I don't sleep, y'know - the dead don't gotta sleep, so it's... Kind of a waste, right?
[help he needs an adult an adultier adult that knows what to do]
[ Oh heck yes, high-level magic makes an unexpected appearance. Chipp looks like a night-light. Nen doesn't know what they did to produce this kind of reaction in Chipp, but they are very much for it. They've got to offer him Jello more often.
That said, that spoon? Still waiting in mid-air for him. ]
You turned yellow. [ Nenonen doesn't smile, but boy oh boy is it a near thing with the twitch the corners of their mouth gives. ] It's also for the "sake of just holding someone", yes? I will make that sake. You're very warm. I bet you make a great spoon.
[ Nen runs cold at just under 35 Celcius; so someone who runs extra-hot like Chipp? Like Saya? Feels wonderful. ]
[Oh, now he is just an even brighter shade. The blush is starting to trail down his neck and everything. He'd almost be sweating if that was something he did easily. Instead, he's looking up at the ceiling now, brow raised and scrunched in an expression Nen will likely not see for a long time beyond now - Catholic Guiltâ„¢.]
It's - You gotta save it for someone special! I ain't special! I'm just the one teachin' ya French and how to eat Jello!
[ listen I know it's on my subject like but CATHOLIC GUILT i'm dead. Nen is fine, but I am dying.
Chipp looking up at the ceiling really gives Nenonen a great view of all his majesty right now. Solid approval. Even if what he says next makes no sense to Nen. ]
But that is special. You're the only person who has ever done either for me.
[He's now blushing so brightly, it's questionable whether he's got any blood left in the rest of his body at all. (He doesn't. Reapers don't use blood the same way was humans. Fun fact.)
After a second of suffering further, he brings his hands to his face so he can give it a good, hard rub in frustration. Complete with the sort of frustrated grumble you might expect.]
It's about love! You do that kinda shit with the person ya love! Okay!? But I can't teach ya what that is, 'cause I don't got a fuckin' clue if I can feel love in the first place, so just - Look, there's a couple books in the box for that too, so read'em! Think about'em real hard! Then you can ask me for that kinda thing!
[Because yes, he did, in fact, make sure to grab a book or two on the concept of love and marriage. Because they want him as a husband. So it's only fair to make sure they actually understand what that even MEANS.]
[ Chipp the grim reaper night light, in all his high-level majesty... Nen really needs to talk about spoons with him more often if this is what it does. This is immensely satisfying. Just watching him rub his face makes Nenonen want to do the same.
Then, of course, he brings up the subject of "love" and Nen blinks. They've heard the word before--people say all the time how much the "love food x" or "love doing activity b." That's a degree of enjoyment. The kind of love Chipp's talking about is an emotional response. Or a concept. Both? Nen knows enough about it to know they don't understand it and aren't familiar with it enough to have an opinion on what it really is.
And Chipp obviously has some very strong feelings about it. ]
Does that mean I can't makes a spoon with you until I love you? What if you don't love me?
[This whole thing ends up with Chipp covering his face entirely, letting another grumble out into his hands. This feels like - Like sitting in an empty room with the "good" cop trying to get answers you don't have out of you. He hates that he has experience with that enough to make the comparison, but it's enough of a comparison to help him gain a bit more of his bearings. (Beside him, his helmet goes to static. Anytime he's feeling something this strong while it's nearby, it'll do that.)
His hands come away from his face with a sigh, just enough that he can look Nen right in theirs.]
... I don't know if I even feel love. I mean, if you decide ya love me or somethin', then I'll give it a shot. Ain't gonna deny you stuff you deserve to learn about, once you know enough 'bout it to make those kinda decisions. But just know it'll be for your sake.
[ They're friends. Friends protect each other, even if it's not from physical harm. Chipp does a lot for Nenonen's sake--teaching them, making sure they know what to be aware of in order to avoid being taken advantage of, to not make blind comparisons...and now he says he'd be willing to try it, if only just for them.
Nen brings the spoon of Jell-o back since he hasn't taken it, plops it in their mouth instead, and waits until they swallow before giving their response. ]
If you don't feel love then you'll never get to try it.
[ Nen can protect something for Chipp too. They can do this. ]
I will do it for your sake, too.
[ They will protect his heart, Nenonen decides. from missing out on stuff like this, regardless of whether he has love or not. ]
[There's no way in hell that Chipp wouldn't end up gawking at them for such a thing. For... his sake? They wanna do this stuff for his sake? Because he might not feel love? It's obvious just from the look on his face that he doesn't understand the idea in the slightest. Doing something like that, so selfless, for someone who may not get anything out of it - What's the point of that?
...
Then again, there was never any guarantee that your loved ones got anything out of having their graves tended to, either. And that's something he'd done for years, even in cities where he didn't know a single soul. His face twists up into something complicated, his usual permanent expression of anger colored with shades of emotions he doesn't even really have names for, and he lets himself have at least one nice thing out of all this - He wraps his arms around Nenonen and draws them close to his chest, tucking them under his chin in a snug embrace.]
... Just promise me you'll read the books 'n think hard 'bout the decisions you makin' here. Promise me that, and I'll... show you how to cuddle. Or spoon. Or whatever you lookin' for from me, here. You too good for someone like me. Too good.
[ Oh--that's. Unexpected. Nen probably spills some of their Jell-o as he tugs them forward like that, but...well, wrapped up close like this? Ina way that's only ever brought them comfort? Nen doesn't mind so much. It takes a second to really digest it, but within moments Nen begins to sink against him, spoon and cup abandoned in lieu of latching onto his shirt. Again. ]
...I promise.
[ Nen would promise him just about anything like this. ]
I'll read every word. And I will keep being good to you, because I want to.
[ If Chipp can be good to Nen, Nen can be good to Chipp. ]
Well, if you wanna do it, wouldn't be right for me to tell ya no.
[Said with a sigh in his voice, a clear sign that he's giving up on fighting it. If Nenonen chose him to explore this part of life with, then he's been chosen. As far as he figures, he can at least help them learn before sending them off to go find themself an actual partner.
The cold feeling of the Jello ending up against his stomach isn't hard to miss - with a wave of one of his hands, his magic scoops it all up, cup and all, to deposit neatly on the table.]
You done with the snacks? We can put it all up for later.
Wii. I am finished for now. But I will finish the gel-oh later.
[ So thanks for cleaning that up. Nen will be sure to nom that up as soon as they are not preoccupied with soaking up all the warmth that comes off of him by comparison.
Little does Chipp know the true protector here will be Nenonen...protecting his pure lil heart. ]
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[Said quietly and mostly to himself, of course. But this whole thing -
It's hard with his helmet on. He never thought about this, what would happen if someone were to hug him while wearing it. It's not a situation that either he or his Boss thought about while creating the helmet in the first place.
He can't see them at all, can't tuck them under his chin, nothing like that.
So off it goes again. This time entirely, getting placed on the couch beside him. Just so he can hug them properly, give them the hug they obviously needed.]
... I like you too, Nenett. And I'm glad ya feel that way -
I been tryin' very... very hard.
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[ It's an awkward way to say it, but it's just how Nen is. Helmet comes off, Chipp doesn't try to correct them and insist he's not everything they think he is, and Nen just folds up into him. The weight of his arms and the squeeze of their strength does some work, but mostly? He just makes Nen feel safe.
They hope that one day, they can do the same thing for him. ]
I have no additional feedback.
[ That's Nenspeak for you're fine just the way you are. ]
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It makes it easy for him to understand. Easier to just settle into that hug and be glad it's happening at all.
He doesn't get hugs very much, let him have this.]
... You wanna... try some of them treats I brought?
Ain't nothin' soft, but I think you gonna be able to eat'em anyway. Might even like'em.
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[ Nen forgot all about them with that rush of book-fueled emotion. They glance back to table, where the grocery bags are. ]
What did you bring?? Is it new?
[ Nen looks back to him, hands still balled in his shirt. ]
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Here, lemme just -
[One hand leaves Nen's shoulders just for a second, just so he can snatch a bag out of the air as he floats it over to himself with his magic.
(It's magnetic magic. Sorry if their hair ends up a little frizzy.)
But since they're in the prime position for it... the bag gets put in Nenonen's lap.]
Got hard candies, couple types of chips - that's with one "p", it's a kinda snack made outta potatoes. They ain't a paste, but you could chew'em into one pretty good, I think?
Also got some puddin' cups and Jello cups, I feel like you gonna dig those.
... Oh, you gonna need a spoon -
[Without even thinking about it, without any hesitation, he reaches for his helmet.
And he snaps the antennas right off of it.
With his magic, they form into a glob of solid metal for a moment, before reshaping into a nice little spoon for their use.]
Here! Should work just fine.
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[ Nen sounds quite proud of themself on that, and yes: Nen's hair does get a bit frizzy. When they reach out to poke at the spoon it even give them a tiny shock! But just a little one. A faint flinch and they're fine, inspecting the utensil with curiosity. For just a moment there, the thought "you broke your hair" crossed their 'mind, but the antenna aren't actually hair and the helmet isn't actually Chipp's head. So.
Nen sits back against his knees to give them more room to look at everything he's brought over, eyes keen. ]
Thank you. What should I spoon first?
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Somethin'... real different.
But, uhh... you like fruit, right? Try some of that Jello in there.
[He got cherry and grape flavors!! The worst yet most popular kinds!!]
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[ Jello it is! Nen looks between the two colours and decides that grape looks like it'll be fun. Thankfully, the jello cups are just as easy to figure out as the beer can, so Nen gets that opened up without too much trouble. Better yet: no kssht! of surprise air.
Nen spoons some out of it and gives it a sniff--something they never did in their world, what point is there to sniffing nutrient paste?--before plopping it in their mouth with a pleased sound.
It's sweet! And has a similar texture to supplement jelly. Interesting. ]
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He actually has to look away in thought for a moment, rubbing his chin as his face scrunches up.]
... Okay, it's -
Well, first, don't go doin' this with just... anyone, okay? It's kinda special, save it for someone special to ya.
Someone that makes your chest feel funny, you know? The kinda person you wanna see all the time.
[This is the closest he's probably ever going to get when it comes to explaining what love is.
Because that's the closest he's ever really figured out for himself.]
Spoonin' is... it's a type of cuddlin'. Y'know - holdin' someone else just for the sake of holdin'em. Like a bigger, longer hug for someone special.
You got yourself and whoever layin' down together, all curled up with your back against their chest - or the other way 'round, guess that's possible.
But the way you do it, it makes ya both look like spoons together in a drawer. So that's how it got its name.
It's good for naps. As far as I know, ain't done it myself.
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[ Oh boy...poor Chipp and his precious, sweet, pure heart. How does someone so gruff and tough a once-human-serial killer also turn out to be a giant softie about these things??
Nen pauses midway through that spoonful of jello for his explanation, mulling it over in their head. It sounds...a little like the time they slept over at Saya, Kantera, Venti, and Yuri's house. Bedding and pillows all over the floor, flopping across Saya because she was a gosh-darn furnace and Nen absolutely adored it, staying up late into the night talking...
It sounds a little like that, only without the funny feeling in their chest. The funny feeling (happiness) was in their stomach. Also, Nen just laid on top of Saya and hugged her. There was no back-pressing involved...hmm. The more Nen thinks about it, the more they think perhaps they did not actually spoon at all. Perhaps the sleep-over is a poor example. ]
Why haven't you spooned before? It sounds nice.
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[Of course. Of course they're gonna ask that. What a jab right in that precious, sweet, pure heart of his.
He ends up letting out a weary sigh, like he's a tired ol' dog that's sick of life and ready to pass on already.]
I ain't done it 'cause no one's liked me enough for it.
What do you think of the Jello?
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[ Nen pops the spoon out of their mouth and takes another scoop, this time holding it out to him. ]
I like you. Do you want to spoon with me?
[ Jello AND two kinds of spooning, what a bargain!! ]
1/2;
2/2;
It gets stared at with big, wide eyes, almost going cross-eyed with how close it is.
He suddenly has no idea what's going on anymore. Again.
Being... offered to be spoon-fed sweets?? And asked if he wants to cuddle?????
By Nenonen?????????
Unsurprisingly, his face near immediately takes a bright, luminescent shade of Dayglo orange, glowing bright enough to make all of his freckles stand out.]
U-uhh...... [Is he even ALLOWED to say yes??] ... Well--
Like I said, it's good for naps... b-but I don't sleep, y'know - the dead don't gotta sleep, so it's...
Kind of a waste, right?
[help he needs an adult
an adultier adult that knows what to do]
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That said, that spoon? Still waiting in mid-air for him. ]
You turned yellow. [ Nenonen doesn't smile, but boy oh boy is it a near thing with the twitch the corners of their mouth gives. ] It's also for the "sake of just holding someone", yes? I will make that sake. You're very warm. I bet you make a great spoon.
[ Nen runs cold at just under 35 Celcius; so someone who runs extra-hot like Chipp? Like Saya? Feels wonderful. ]
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Instead, he's looking up at the ceiling now, brow raised and scrunched in an expression Nen will likely not see for a long time beyond now -
Catholic Guiltâ„¢.]
It's -
You gotta save it for someone special! I ain't special!
I'm just the one teachin' ya French and how to eat Jello!
CATHOLIC GUILT ICAN'T
Chipp looking up at the ceiling really gives Nenonen a great view of all his majesty right now. Solid approval. Even if what he says next makes no sense to Nen. ]
But that is special. You're the only person who has ever done either for me.
[ Nenonen uses: Flawless Logic ]
listen he's SUFFERING ok
[He's now blushing so brightly, it's questionable whether he's got any blood left in the rest of his body at all.
(He doesn't. Reapers don't use blood the same way was humans. Fun fact.)
After a second of suffering further, he brings his hands to his face so he can give it a good, hard rub in frustration. Complete with the sort of frustrated grumble you might expect.]
It's about love! You do that kinda shit with the person ya love! Okay!?
But I can't teach ya what that is, 'cause I don't got a fuckin' clue if I can feel love in the first place, so just -
Look, there's a couple books in the box for that too, so read'em! Think about'em real hard!
Then you can ask me for that kinda thing!
[Because yes, he did, in fact, make sure to grab a book or two on the concept of love and marriage. Because they want him as a husband.
So it's only fair to make sure they actually understand what that even MEANS.]
HE SURE IS
Then, of course, he brings up the subject of "love" and Nen blinks. They've heard the word before--people say all the time how much the "love food x" or "love doing activity b." That's a degree of enjoyment. The kind of love Chipp's talking about is an emotional response. Or a concept. Both? Nen knows enough about it to know they don't understand it and aren't familiar with it enough to have an opinion on what it really is.
And Chipp obviously has some very strong feelings about it. ]
Does that mean I can't makes a spoon with you until I love you? What if you don't love me?
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This feels like -
Like sitting in an empty room with the "good" cop trying to get answers you don't have out of you.
He hates that he has experience with that enough to make the comparison, but it's enough of a comparison to help him gain a bit more of his bearings.
(Beside him, his helmet goes to static. Anytime he's feeling something this strong while it's nearby, it'll do that.)
His hands come away from his face with a sigh, just enough that he can look Nen right in theirs.]
... I don't know if I even feel love.
I mean, if you decide ya love me or somethin', then I'll give it a shot. Ain't gonna deny you stuff you deserve to learn about, once you know enough 'bout it to make those kinda decisions.
But just know it'll be for your sake.
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[ They're friends. Friends protect each other, even if it's not from physical harm. Chipp does a lot for Nenonen's sake--teaching them, making sure they know what to be aware of in order to avoid being taken advantage of, to not make blind comparisons...and now he says he'd be willing to try it, if only just for them.
Nen brings the spoon of Jell-o back since he hasn't taken it, plops it in their mouth instead, and waits until they swallow before giving their response. ]
If you don't feel love then you'll never get to try it.
[ Nen can protect something for Chipp too. They can do this. ]
I will do it for your sake, too.
[ They will protect his heart, Nenonen decides. from missing out on stuff like this, regardless of whether he has love or not. ]
YOURE KILLIN ME SMALLS
[There's no way in hell that Chipp wouldn't end up gawking at them for such a thing.
For... his sake? They wanna do this stuff for his sake? Because he might not feel love?
It's obvious just from the look on his face that he doesn't understand the idea in the slightest. Doing something like that, so selfless, for someone who may not get anything out of it -
What's the point of that?
...
Then again, there was never any guarantee that your loved ones got anything out of having their graves tended to, either.
And that's something he'd done for years, even in cities where he didn't know a single soul.
His face twists up into something complicated, his usual permanent expression of anger colored with shades of emotions he doesn't even really have names for, and he lets himself have at least one nice thing out of all this -
He wraps his arms around Nenonen and draws them close to his chest, tucking them under his chin in a snug embrace.]
... Just promise me you'll read the books 'n think hard 'bout the decisions you makin' here.
Promise me that, and I'll... show you how to cuddle. Or spoon. Or whatever you lookin' for from me, here.
You too good for someone like me. Too good.
FLEXES
...I promise.
[ Nen would promise him just about anything like this. ]
I'll read every word. And I will keep being good to you, because I want to.
[ If Chipp can be good to Nen, Nen can be good to Chipp. ]
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[Said with a sigh in his voice, a clear sign that he's giving up on fighting it. If Nenonen chose him to explore this part of life with, then he's been chosen.
As far as he figures, he can at least help them learn before sending them off to go find themself an actual partner.
The cold feeling of the Jello ending up against his stomach isn't hard to miss - with a wave of one of his hands, his magic scoops it all up, cup and all, to deposit neatly on the table.]
You done with the snacks? We can put it all up for later.
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[ So thanks for cleaning that up. Nen will be sure to nom that up as soon as they are not preoccupied with soaking up all the warmth that comes off of him by comparison.
Little does Chipp know the true protector here will be Nenonen...protecting his pure lil heart.]WII????
wii...oui......sobs in french
NO DW I KNOW im just screaming because WII... theyre trying so hard
NEN TRIES SO HARD ;w;
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1/2;
2/2;
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wao lookin at nen's legs there huh i see i see
i almost had him actually go and feel for muscle but that wouldve meant letting their hands go 😔
OH WEH that would have been cute....maybe even ticklish lmfao
1/2; note to self: tickle punishment for face squishing
2/2;
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im sorry he's so awkward
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why did spell check tell me "inferrance" is correct
spellcheck trolling you this early in the morning is rude
taking advantage of my dyslexia, knowing id shrug like "ok sure that looks correct"
pats u :'c
pats nen so much more???
jdkf ;u;/// also **nod, not now gd hamhands
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eyyy camping psl becomes canon B)
no no, sweet & tender first time first, THEN the camping psl
oh weh....precious
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cw: mention of euthanasia/suicide...of a sort? choosing death over going home basically
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