Uh - Ouais, of course. You said you wanted to understand me better, those're books that'll help you do that.
[This is not the sort of reaction he expected, but he can't say he's unhappy about it. Though it's making him cast a little high level magic over all of that.]
... 'S what all those books are for. [All of them. Even the singular true crime nonfiction hidden in there among them.] But, uhh... some of'em, you gonna need my help with. They ain't all in the same language. Some're in French. Some are in... the language in the land of the dead. So you gonna need my help readin' those.
[ The blessed high-level magic... It's even more interesting, because on Chipp's face it's yellow instead of red. He looks like he's glowing.
There's no way Nen's eyes aren't zeroing in on that, fascinated. ]
You brought me all these books to help...understand you?
[ If Nen looked surprised before that's nothing compared to the awe on their face now. Chipp brought them books just for this? To help them learn, and he doesn't just want Nen to read them, he wants to help.
This, right here? This is the intellectual equivalent of flowers, Chipp.
If Nenonen was a more adjusted person, this is where they would hug him. Instead? They clutch the can of beer in their hands close, like it's the most precious thing--supplanting the desire to express their delight for him into a much closer, more obtainable goal. ]
[That blush of his is getting bigger, as if he's getting more sheepish over the whole thing - But he looks uncertain for a moment, searching their face like he's missing something, like there's some sort of gap in understanding between them. As always, he cannot tell for the life of him how they're feeling about this. Usually intensity like this only lasts a second, and then whoever they're talking to goes back to laughing and joking or whatever else. Understanding this sort of intensity is also a lot easier when there are obvious signs on the others' face, too - A smile if they're excited. A frown if they're upset. Et cetera.
Because he can't parse it, he gives up near immediately and ends up looking away to take a sip from his own drink. ... Oooonly to decide it's not good enough. So he takes the flask off his belt and adds a bit of whatever's in that to his can, too.]
I just, y'know... Means a lot to me that you wanna get to know me better. Most folks don't do that.
[ Chipp gets more yellow, Nenonen gets more charmed, and the two of them completely fail at being standardized people. Which is fine, honestly. Chipp can't read people and Nenonen doesn't react like most people do anyway; they're two odd pieces of a puzzle out.
So while Chipp busies himself with adding more kick to his drink? Nen just stands up, still clutching their can and huffs. ]
Yes! You are amazing. I would like to get to know you better very much!
[ Nen squeezes the can again, just until it clunks a little.
Of course now that they're standing they don't get exactly why, but whatever they're feeling is profound and squishing a can of beer just isn't going to cut it here. ]
[The way Nenonen just... stands up, out of nowhere like that, actually gets Chipp to jump a bit in surprise. He's not sure what he's feeling in the slightest, but whatever it is, it's made him... jumpy.
... You know what? It's helmet time. Back to the helmet. Like a security blanket. (Its expression makes the way he's feeling much, much clearer. Uncertain, unsure. Startled, but trying his best to roll with the punches. He understands 0% of what's happening, but he's trying his best.)]
You want-- well, I mean... okay. But put the can down first, you don't wanna spill that on nothin'. Trust me, smell clings for weeks.
[ Sorry, emotional support beer. Nen needs to put you down now--and does just that, setting it on the coffee table before walking around it just. you know. Stand in front of Chipp all expectant-like as one does when they are a Very Normal Person. ]
I am ready.
[ HUG. Give it.
And by 'give it' I mean Nen sort of awkwardly twitches their arms forward like they mean to initiate it, but don't quite get there because they second-guess themselves and also because Chipp's still sitting down. ]
[And, of course, Chipp watches this entire rigmarole play out like it's some sort of social display. Complete with them having to announce that they're ready. He can't help the way his head tilts in confusion for a moment, but he moves to put his can and flask both down on the table.
And then he waves for them to get closer, to actually, y'know. Hug him??]
Awright, c'mon then. You don't gotta stand around like a mannequin, just go for it. It's a hug, that's how folks do it.
[ Now...most people would have hugged Chipp by now. And when they did it, they probably just would've leaned over and given him a normal hug, since he's tall enough for that. But Nen? Has only ever had the type where you're right up with them; close embraces. If Chipp is down there and Nen is up here, and they need to hug...
Sorry, Chipp.
Nen just crawls right into his lap and plunks themself down so they can lean into him and grab his shirt.
[Chipp is a dangerous man. A deadly man. Someone who's honed his mind and abilities to kill someone without hesitation and without remorse. His heart and his body both have been hardened from the years he's spent taking people out and dodging the law. Some people regard him as little more than a machine made to take lives. A demon, perhaps. Some even go as far as to call him the Devil.
Even those in the land of the dead, the other Grim Reapers that can weather any wound, any death, fear him. Avoid him and his land. Regard him as a myth and a legend, cold-blooded, something woven into stories meant to scare people into behaving - only to be very, very real.]
[... And here he is, sitting stock still and on the brink of tears because his little friend climbed into his lap for a hug.
After a moment, he finally moves to wrap his arms around them - a slow, tentative motion like he's completely and utterly unsure what to do, here. But they get their hug. ... Rather, it's more like they're being cradled. But it's a type of hug, at least.]
[ It's the best kind of hug, because it comes from someone that Nenonen is very, very fond of. They've only had three hugs to date and one of them technically hasn't happened yet because of TimelinesTM and bridge quests but point is, hugs are a big thing for Nen. They're not great at giving them (Nen's hands are fisted in his shirt, the same way they fisted in Vash's as he tried to comfort them; the same way they clung to Yuuto's as they tried to make peace with the fact that Ten wasn't really there), but they way they press their face into his chest and lean into him with all the trust in the world is telling.
Chipp can cradle them all he wants. Nen is here to soak up every minute of it. ]
...I like you, Chipp. You're a good friend for me.
[Said quietly and mostly to himself, of course. But this whole thing - It's hard with his helmet on. He never thought about this, what would happen if someone were to hug him while wearing it. It's not a situation that either he or his Boss thought about while creating the helmet in the first place. He can't see them at all, can't tuck them under his chin, nothing like that. So off it goes again. This time entirely, getting placed on the couch beside him. Just so he can hug them properly, give them the hug they obviously needed.]
... I like you too, Nenett. And I'm glad ya feel that way - I been tryin' very... very hard.
Edited (random period oops) 2023-04-14 20:34 (UTC)
[ It's an awkward way to say it, but it's just how Nen is. Helmet comes off, Chipp doesn't try to correct them and insist he's not everything they think he is, and Nen just folds up into him. The weight of his arms and the squeeze of their strength does some work, but mostly? He just makes Nen feel safe.
They hope that one day, they can do the same thing for him. ]
I have no additional feedback.
[ That's Nenspeak for you're fine just the way you are. ]
[Is it an awkward way to say it? Chipp doesn't think of it that way. It's just a Nen way to say it, in his mind. It makes it easy for him to understand. Easier to just settle into that hug and be glad it's happening at all. He doesn't get hugs very much, let him have this.]
... You wanna... try some of them treats I brought? Ain't nothin' soft, but I think you gonna be able to eat'em anyway. Might even like'em.
Yeah, the snacks! You remembered that one - great, don't wanna have to explain what snacks are again. Here, lemme just -
[One hand leaves Nen's shoulders just for a second, just so he can snatch a bag out of the air as he floats it over to himself with his magic. (It's magnetic magic. Sorry if their hair ends up a little frizzy.) But since they're in the prime position for it... the bag gets put in Nenonen's lap.]
Got hard candies, couple types of chips - that's with one "p", it's a kinda snack made outta potatoes. They ain't a paste, but you could chew'em into one pretty good, I think? Also got some puddin' cups and Jello cups, I feel like you gonna dig those.
... Oh, you gonna need a spoon -
[Without even thinking about it, without any hesitation, he reaches for his helmet. And he snaps the antennas right off of it.
With his magic, they form into a glob of solid metal for a moment, before reshaping into a nice little spoon for their use.]
I remember most of the things you tell me. My short-term memory is quite effective.
[ Nen sounds quite proud of themself on that, and yes: Nen's hair does get a bit frizzy. When they reach out to poke at the spoon it even give them a tiny shock! But just a little one. A faint flinch and they're fine, inspecting the utensil with curiosity. For just a moment there, the thought "you broke your hair" crossed their 'mind, but the antenna aren't actually hair and the helmet isn't actually Chipp's head. So.
Nen sits back against his knees to give them more room to look at everything he's brought over, eyes keen. ]
"Eat", you mean "what should I eat". "Spoonin'" is somethin' different altogether. Somethin'... real different. But, uhh... you like fruit, right? Try some of that Jello in there.
[He got cherry and grape flavors!! The worst yet most popular kinds!!]
[ Jello it is! Nen looks between the two colours and decides that grape looks like it'll be fun. Thankfully, the jello cups are just as easy to figure out as the beer can, so Nen gets that opened up without too much trouble. Better yet: no kssht! of surprise air.
Nen spoons some out of it and gives it a sniff--something they never did in their world, what point is there to sniffing nutrient paste?--before plopping it in their mouth with a pleased sound.
It's sweet! And has a similar texture to supplement jelly. Interesting. ]
... Uhh. [Fuck. He forgot that Nen isn't the type to just leave well enough alone. He actually has to look away in thought for a moment, rubbing his chin as his face scrunches up.]
... Okay, it's - Well, first, don't go doin' this with just... anyone, okay? It's kinda special, save it for someone special to ya. Someone that makes your chest feel funny, you know? The kinda person you wanna see all the time.
[This is the closest he's probably ever going to get when it comes to explaining what love is. Because that's the closest he's ever really figured out for himself.]
Spoonin' is... it's a type of cuddlin'. Y'know - holdin' someone else just for the sake of holdin'em. Like a bigger, longer hug for someone special. You got yourself and whoever layin' down together, all curled up with your back against their chest - or the other way 'round, guess that's possible. But the way you do it, it makes ya both look like spoons together in a drawer. So that's how it got its name.
It's good for naps. As far as I know, ain't done it myself.
[ Oh boy...poor Chipp and his precious, sweet, pure heart. How does someone so gruff and tough a once-human-serial killer also turn out to be a giant softie about these things??
Nen pauses midway through that spoonful of jello for his explanation, mulling it over in their head. It sounds...a little like the time they slept over at Saya, Kantera, Venti, and Yuri's house. Bedding and pillows all over the floor, flopping across Saya because she was a gosh-darn furnace and Nen absolutely adored it, staying up late into the night talking...
It sounds a little like that, only without the funny feeling in their chest. The funny feeling (happiness) was in their stomach. Also, Nen just laid on top of Saya and hugged her. There was no back-pressing involved...hmm. The more Nen thinks about it, the more they think perhaps they did not actually spoon at all. Perhaps the sleep-over is a poor example. ]
[Of course. Of course they're gonna ask that. What a jab right in that precious, sweet, pure heart of his. He ends up letting out a weary sigh, like he's a tired ol' dog that's sick of life and ready to pass on already.]
I ain't done it 'cause no one's liked me enough for it. What do you think of the Jello?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Ouais, of course. You said you wanted to understand me better, those're books that'll help you do that.
[This is not the sort of reaction he expected, but he can't say he's unhappy about it.
Though it's making him cast a little high level magic over all of that.]
... 'S what all those books are for. [All of them. Even the singular true crime nonfiction hidden in there among them.] But, uhh... some of'em, you gonna need my help with.
They ain't all in the same language. Some're in French.
Some are in... the language in the land of the dead.
So you gonna need my help readin' those.
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There's no way Nen's eyes aren't zeroing in on that, fascinated. ]
You brought me all these books to help...understand you?
[ If Nen looked surprised before that's nothing compared to the awe on their face now. Chipp brought them books just for this? To help them learn, and he doesn't just want Nen to read them, he wants to help.
This, right here? This is the intellectual equivalent of flowers, Chipp.
If Nenonen was a more adjusted person, this is where they would hug him. Instead? They clutch the can of beer in their hands close, like it's the most precious thing--supplanting the desire to express their delight for him into a much closer, more obtainable goal. ]
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[That blush of his is getting bigger, as if he's getting more sheepish over the whole thing -
But he looks uncertain for a moment, searching their face like he's missing something, like there's some sort of gap in understanding between them.
As always, he cannot tell for the life of him how they're feeling about this.
Usually intensity like this only lasts a second, and then whoever they're talking to goes back to laughing and joking or whatever else. Understanding this sort of intensity is also a lot easier when there are obvious signs on the others' face, too -
A smile if they're excited. A frown if they're upset. Et cetera.
Because he can't parse it, he gives up near immediately and ends up looking away to take a sip from his own drink. ... Oooonly to decide it's not good enough.
So he takes the flask off his belt and adds a bit of whatever's in that to his can, too.]
I just, y'know...
Means a lot to me that you wanna get to know me better. Most folks don't do that.
1/2
So while Chipp busies himself with adding more kick to his drink? Nen just stands up, still clutching their can and huffs. ]
Yes! You are amazing. I would like to get to know you better very much!
[ Nen squeezes the can again, just until it clunks a little.
Of course now that they're standing they don't get exactly why, but whatever they're feeling is profound and squishing a can of beer just isn't going to cut it here. ]
2/2
Is that what should go here? (Doesn't matter, that's what's going here.) ]
Chipp! I want to hug.
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He's not sure what he's feeling in the slightest, but whatever it is, it's made him... jumpy.
... You know what? It's helmet time. Back to the helmet. Like a security blanket.
(Its expression makes the way he's feeling much, much clearer. Uncertain, unsure. Startled, but trying his best to roll with the punches.
He understands 0% of what's happening, but he's trying his best.)]
You want-- well, I mean... okay. But put the can down first, you don't wanna spill that on nothin'.
Trust me, smell clings for weeks.
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[ Sorry, emotional support beer. Nen needs to put you down now--and does just that, setting it on the coffee table before walking around it just. you know. Stand in front of Chipp all expectant-like as one does when they are a Very Normal Person. ]
I am ready.
[ HUG. Give it.
And by 'give it' I mean Nen sort of awkwardly twitches their arms forward like they mean to initiate it, but don't quite get there because they second-guess themselves and also because Chipp's still sitting down. ]
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Complete with them having to announce that they're ready.
He can't help the way his head tilts in confusion for a moment, but he moves to put his can and flask both down on the table.
And then he waves for them to get closer, to actually, y'know. Hug him??]
Awright, c'mon then. You don't gotta stand around like a mannequin, just go for it.
It's a hug, that's how folks do it.
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Sorry, Chipp.
Nen just crawls right into his lap and plunks themself down so they can lean into him and grab his shirt.
#hugging ]
1/2;
His heart and his body both have been hardened from the years he's spent taking people out and dodging the law.
Some people regard him as little more than a machine made to take lives. A demon, perhaps. Some even go as far as to call him the Devil.
Even those in the land of the dead, the other Grim Reapers that can weather any wound, any death, fear him. Avoid him and his land.
Regard him as a myth and a legend, cold-blooded, something woven into stories meant to scare people into behaving - only to be very, very real.]
2/2;
After a moment, he finally moves to wrap his arms around them - a slow, tentative motion like he's completely and utterly unsure what to do, here.
But they get their hug. ... Rather, it's more like they're being cradled. But it's a type of hug, at least.]
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Chipp can cradle them all he wants. Nen is here to soak up every minute of it. ]
...I like you, Chipp. You're a good friend for me.
[ So please don't say you aren't. ]
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[Said quietly and mostly to himself, of course. But this whole thing -
It's hard with his helmet on. He never thought about this, what would happen if someone were to hug him while wearing it. It's not a situation that either he or his Boss thought about while creating the helmet in the first place.
He can't see them at all, can't tuck them under his chin, nothing like that.
So off it goes again. This time entirely, getting placed on the couch beside him. Just so he can hug them properly, give them the hug they obviously needed.]
... I like you too, Nenett. And I'm glad ya feel that way -
I been tryin' very... very hard.
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[ It's an awkward way to say it, but it's just how Nen is. Helmet comes off, Chipp doesn't try to correct them and insist he's not everything they think he is, and Nen just folds up into him. The weight of his arms and the squeeze of their strength does some work, but mostly? He just makes Nen feel safe.
They hope that one day, they can do the same thing for him. ]
I have no additional feedback.
[ That's Nenspeak for you're fine just the way you are. ]
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It makes it easy for him to understand. Easier to just settle into that hug and be glad it's happening at all.
He doesn't get hugs very much, let him have this.]
... You wanna... try some of them treats I brought?
Ain't nothin' soft, but I think you gonna be able to eat'em anyway. Might even like'em.
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[ Nen forgot all about them with that rush of book-fueled emotion. They glance back to table, where the grocery bags are. ]
What did you bring?? Is it new?
[ Nen looks back to him, hands still balled in his shirt. ]
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Here, lemme just -
[One hand leaves Nen's shoulders just for a second, just so he can snatch a bag out of the air as he floats it over to himself with his magic.
(It's magnetic magic. Sorry if their hair ends up a little frizzy.)
But since they're in the prime position for it... the bag gets put in Nenonen's lap.]
Got hard candies, couple types of chips - that's with one "p", it's a kinda snack made outta potatoes. They ain't a paste, but you could chew'em into one pretty good, I think?
Also got some puddin' cups and Jello cups, I feel like you gonna dig those.
... Oh, you gonna need a spoon -
[Without even thinking about it, without any hesitation, he reaches for his helmet.
And he snaps the antennas right off of it.
With his magic, they form into a glob of solid metal for a moment, before reshaping into a nice little spoon for their use.]
Here! Should work just fine.
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[ Nen sounds quite proud of themself on that, and yes: Nen's hair does get a bit frizzy. When they reach out to poke at the spoon it even give them a tiny shock! But just a little one. A faint flinch and they're fine, inspecting the utensil with curiosity. For just a moment there, the thought "you broke your hair" crossed their 'mind, but the antenna aren't actually hair and the helmet isn't actually Chipp's head. So.
Nen sits back against his knees to give them more room to look at everything he's brought over, eyes keen. ]
Thank you. What should I spoon first?
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Somethin'... real different.
But, uhh... you like fruit, right? Try some of that Jello in there.
[He got cherry and grape flavors!! The worst yet most popular kinds!!]
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[ Jello it is! Nen looks between the two colours and decides that grape looks like it'll be fun. Thankfully, the jello cups are just as easy to figure out as the beer can, so Nen gets that opened up without too much trouble. Better yet: no kssht! of surprise air.
Nen spoons some out of it and gives it a sniff--something they never did in their world, what point is there to sniffing nutrient paste?--before plopping it in their mouth with a pleased sound.
It's sweet! And has a similar texture to supplement jelly. Interesting. ]
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He actually has to look away in thought for a moment, rubbing his chin as his face scrunches up.]
... Okay, it's -
Well, first, don't go doin' this with just... anyone, okay? It's kinda special, save it for someone special to ya.
Someone that makes your chest feel funny, you know? The kinda person you wanna see all the time.
[This is the closest he's probably ever going to get when it comes to explaining what love is.
Because that's the closest he's ever really figured out for himself.]
Spoonin' is... it's a type of cuddlin'. Y'know - holdin' someone else just for the sake of holdin'em. Like a bigger, longer hug for someone special.
You got yourself and whoever layin' down together, all curled up with your back against their chest - or the other way 'round, guess that's possible.
But the way you do it, it makes ya both look like spoons together in a drawer. So that's how it got its name.
It's good for naps. As far as I know, ain't done it myself.
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[ Oh boy...poor Chipp and his precious, sweet, pure heart. How does someone so gruff and tough a once-human-serial killer also turn out to be a giant softie about these things??
Nen pauses midway through that spoonful of jello for his explanation, mulling it over in their head. It sounds...a little like the time they slept over at Saya, Kantera, Venti, and Yuri's house. Bedding and pillows all over the floor, flopping across Saya because she was a gosh-darn furnace and Nen absolutely adored it, staying up late into the night talking...
It sounds a little like that, only without the funny feeling in their chest. The funny feeling (happiness) was in their stomach. Also, Nen just laid on top of Saya and hugged her. There was no back-pressing involved...hmm. The more Nen thinks about it, the more they think perhaps they did not actually spoon at all. Perhaps the sleep-over is a poor example. ]
Why haven't you spooned before? It sounds nice.
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[Of course. Of course they're gonna ask that. What a jab right in that precious, sweet, pure heart of his.
He ends up letting out a weary sigh, like he's a tired ol' dog that's sick of life and ready to pass on already.]
I ain't done it 'cause no one's liked me enough for it.
What do you think of the Jello?
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[ Nen pops the spoon out of their mouth and takes another scoop, this time holding it out to him. ]
I like you. Do you want to spoon with me?
[ Jello AND two kinds of spooning, what a bargain!! ]
1/2;
2/2;
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CATHOLIC GUILT ICAN'T
listen he's SUFFERING ok
HE SURE IS
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YOURE KILLIN ME SMALLS
FLEXES
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WII????
wii...oui......sobs in french
NO DW I KNOW im just screaming because WII... theyre trying so hard
NEN TRIES SO HARD ;w;
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2/2;
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wao lookin at nen's legs there huh i see i see
i almost had him actually go and feel for muscle but that wouldve meant letting their hands go 😔
OH WEH that would have been cute....maybe even ticklish lmfao
1/2; note to self: tickle punishment for face squishing
2/2;
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im sorry he's so awkward
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why did spell check tell me "inferrance" is correct
spellcheck trolling you this early in the morning is rude
taking advantage of my dyslexia, knowing id shrug like "ok sure that looks correct"
pats u :'c
pats nen so much more???
jdkf ;u;/// also **nod, not now gd hamhands
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eyyy camping psl becomes canon B)
no no, sweet & tender first time first, THEN the camping psl
oh weh....precious
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cw: mention of euthanasia/suicide...of a sort? choosing death over going home basically
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